Horsin’ around
Don Coldsmith
Originally published 02:19 p.m., May 27, 2008
Updated 02:19 p.m., May 27, 2008
WHEN A CUSTOMER goes through the check out at Bluestem Farm and Ranch Supply in Emporia, the ladies at the cash registers ask politely if there’s anything else. Well, usually there is, but I’ll think of it later, after I’m nearly home, or when I’m out at the pasture.
I stopped at the feed store the other day to pick up a few sacks of range cubes for the cattle. That saves a lot of cowboying. It’s handy to have cattle come to you, just to see if you brought any cubes, even in summer. A lot easier than trying to catch them. Anyway, I was asked the same question — anything else? I mentioned the way I handle that question at Bluestem. Also, that Edna insists that I have withdrawal symptoms if I don’t have occasion to go to Bluestem every day or two. I’m assured that there are a lot of guys like that.
“Well, that’s a guy thing,” said Virginia, looking up from her work at the computer. “Guys need a place like Bluestem.”
Yes, I agreed. Very quickly, we had identified a number of guy things, which are gender-specific and which most women aren’t likely to understand — TV remote controls and surfing channels — duct tape — (Now, there’s a heavy one) — what did guys have before duct tape? Baling wire, probably, but what before THAT? Rawhide, maybe? It boggles the mind, how much older technology has been lost by the encroachment of science and industry. It’s sort of sad — nostalgia just ain’t what it used to be. But, I digress —
Unwillingness to stop for directions if you’re traveling — (Yes, we’re all guilty of that one). Leaving the toilet seat up, Virginia suggested. Now I never had much trouble with that. You don’t spend many years in a house with six women, a wife and five daughters, without realizing that it’s counterproductive to leave toilet seats up. Something a guy just doesn’t do.
Now, it goes without saying that there are girl things which guys will never understand, too. For instance, when he asks what’s the matter, and she meets the inquiry with one of two answers: a) stony silence, or b) “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you!”
In this situation, the best course of action is to go somewhere out of sight and ponder what might have been your infraction which initiated such behavior. (Maybe the toilet seat — )
Another girl thing is shopping. I’ve written about that before. If a guy needs some small item, he goes to the store and buys it. (Probably at Bluestem). It requires only a few moments. A woman, on the other hand, is encumbered by all sorts of rules when she goes to buy something. She must look at the item in a prescribed number of stores before the purchase. (A minimum of three, apparently, though a mere man is incapable of even understanding the rules). The final fourth-quarter move is back to the first store.
As I was writing this, trying to figure out how to avoid offending female readers, the phone rang. It was a male friend, who asked if we’d like to come over for an impromptu fish fry on the following evening. It sounded like a good idea and I checked my pocket date book — all clear.
I figured I’d better clear it with Edna, though. I hollered at her and she said fine, sounds like fun. Our friend on the phone said okay, we’ll let the girls finalize and confirm the arrangements. His wife was at hand, so I called to Edna again. She was busy and suggested that the two guys go ahead, make and confirm the details.
I relayed the information and the gender gap began to widen. No way, he said, that he’d be a party to making and confirming such a thing. Well, I felt nearly the same way. I was glad of the excuse to say something like, “Me too, they’ll have to do it.”
There are just some things that are guy things, some are girl things. Despite all the denial and the efforts to unisex everything, there ARE differences in gender. For which, let us give thanks.
See you down the road.
Author and columnist Don Coldsmith lives in Emporia.
Comments
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Posted by sexingthecherry (anonymous) on May 28, 2008 at 12:31 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Unfortunately, I disagree with just about everything you've mentioned.
Yes, there ARE gender differences, but most of them are hoisted onto us early in our lives, as early as our first day. Studies have indicated that in delivery rooms, families are louder when baby boys are being delivered than when baby girls are. From the very first instant of our lives, we are conditioned to behave a certain way.
I am a female, and I don't shop the way you describe here. Conversely, I know men who DO shop that way. Everyone's personality is different, so all shopping styles are different. The only thing is, little boys are raised believing that shopping is a woman's activity, and that they should avoid it at all costs. This mindset is so pervasive that little boys have dolls and dress-up clothes taken away from them by ignorant parents who believe these playthings to be "for girls."
Furthermore, NONE of the things you call gender-specific actually are. Channel-surfing, duct tape, etc, have nothing to do with gender, and it's a bit insulting when you say women can't even understand these mundane ideas. Furthermore, your use of the word "girl" is problematic when you mean "woman." "Girl" implies youth, naivete, infantilism, and so on. It's not appropriate when referring to females beyond puberty.
And if a women, in a trusting, honest relationship lies to her partner about what might be bothering her or how she's feeling, the relationship has problems, and not just the woman.
PS - The easy solution to the toilet seat problem? Have all users put the lid down completely, not just the seat. Every time you flush the toilet without the lid down, you release a spray of airborne microbes, anyway.
Posted by jayhawker (anonymous) on June 1, 2008 at 10:30 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Very interesting and accurate article, Don. God made us different in order to spice up our lives and to keep us on our toes, and it has done both. It is just part of His plan, and we all should thank Him for it. Isn't it an interesting commentary on our era that the difference between Boys and Girls has been recognized throughout the ages, but is only now called into question. Sometimes we feel the need to reinvent the wheel. Somehow, it comes out round every time.
Posted by USNretired (anonymous) on June 1, 2008 at 11:09 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Those of us that have been married to the same spouse for more than 30 years know exactly what you mean Doc Coldsmith.
Posted by create (anonymous) on June 2, 2008 at 7:01 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Crappity-doo-dah-day, Sexingthecherry, it's only a light commentary article. Get off the horse, already. It's dead!
Posted by create (anonymous) on June 2, 2008 at 10:19 a.m. (Suggest removal)
My voice is rather intense when I feel strongly about a topic, Green. Tell you what, I'll try to calm down and be less acrimonious, ok? Bee in bonnet? Not that I can see. Laxative? No thanks.
Posted by sexingthecherry (anonymous) on June 2, 2008 at 3:28 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Yes, it's "light" commentary that reinforces dangerous gender norms. It is, therefore, wrong. I responded respectfully and calmly, with valid reasons for my objections.
I don't need to be married to someone for 30 years to know that stereotypes are dangerous. Yes, G-d made men and women different: men are XY and women are XX. Everything else is socially constructed. Men avoid shopping because they're told that only women go shopping for long periods of time, so if a man likes to shop, it calls his masculinity into question. The same messed-up stereotypes tell men that the worst possible insult for them is to be likened to a woman. Sorry, but I don't buy it. G-d did not make women better at shopping and G-d did not make men incapable of understanding emotions or admitting wrongdoing. These are all excuses to get away with bad behavior. "Tradition" is no excuse for sexism.
Posted by jayhawker (anonymous) on June 2, 2008 at 3:43 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Cherry: What is this "G-d" stuff? What are you trying to say? Seriously.
Posted by sexingthecherry (anonymous) on June 3, 2008 at 9:13 a.m. (Suggest removal)
http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsou...
And no, I'm not Jewish.
And, seriously? I'm pretty sure you could've figured out what I was saying.
Posted by jayhawker (anonymous) on June 3, 2008 at 1:09 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Cherry: Of course I understood that you were referring to God, but I was uncertain of the tone. Thank you for the website. I learned something.
Posted by justamom (anonymous) on June 4, 2008 at 12:01 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Holy Cow Cherry. You are entitled to you opinions, but for gods sake...you can truly be so rude.
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