Saying Goodbye
Dr. Floyd Dorsey, Special to The Gazette
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Few pets quietly slip into eternity. They hang on with tenacity.
Thus euthanasia is almost a daily occurrence in most Veterinary clinics. Although done often, I don’t remember a single class or lecture on euthanasia when I was in school. The classes we did have dealt only with the drugs used and their effect on the animals’ nervous system. Nothing on the emotional or spiritual side of letting go.
I was out of school one week when I was faced with my first euthanasia. A young lady brought me her 17-year old Chihuahua. She had received it as a gift in high school. It had been her constant companion since. She had the dog for over half her life. Now it was dying of kidney disease and old age.
She had gone the extra mile so to speak — to give her dog as long a life as possible — but now there were no options left. The dog would not eat or drink. He was vomiting fluid and was beginning to suffer. It seemed like a simple choice at the time. I know better now. Some wisdom only comes with experience.
She asked me repeatedly,”Am I doing the right thing?” I assured her she was, and placed the euthanasia release on the exam table next to the dog. I gave her a pen and asked her to sign the form giving me permission to put her dog to sleep. As her hand moved toward the paper, her legs gave out and she passed out. I caught her before she hit the floor and gently laid her down in the exam room. She came to and the same episode repeated itself three more times. She was finally able to sign the release, and I put the dog in her lap and put it to sleep while she was still on the floor. After 30-40 minutes, she allowed me take the dog and prepare it for cremation.
When I came back, she was still on the floor, prostrate with grief. I had to call her a cab. My assistant and I helped her into the cab and followed it to her house in her car, then had the cab take us back to the clinic. The waiting room had backed up with appointments due to the time this episode took. But not one person complained about the wait, and everyone showed concern and respect for this lady. Evidence there are a lot of good people in the world.
When she returned to pick up the ashes, she asked me the same question: “Did I do the right thing”? I assured her that she had, and that seemed to make it better.
Some time passed between this experience and a few others that opened my eyes. I began to see it is not the loss that is the hardest part of saying goodbye, it’s having to make that choice. Most bad news comes without us having any control over when, what or where it happens. I still remember the call I got from my uncle informing me of my father’s untimely death. I can tell you what day it was, what time it was, and his exact words. It’s been 29 years but still feels like yesterday.
There were many tough choices to make in light of his passing, but not concerning his passing. He had died, and I had no decision to make about it. Euthanasia is different. It’s a choice we make. That’s why it’s the hardest thing some folks will ever have to do. That is why clients want a firm affirmation that they are doing the right thing. There is a subtle guilt that creeps into the mind, even if the need for euthanasia is obvious.
It is also why euthanasia should never be an option for humans. Who would be responsible for the decision to end someone’s life? A doctor? The family? The State? No, to all those options. God comes for all men in his own time.
I spent many years as a hospice volunteer, and the state of care and medicine today allows for pain control and comfort measures not available in Veterinary Medicine. No one I know wants to be the one to end someone’s life. But in our case, it’s not if, but when we have to make that call. Quality of life for our pet, suffering needlessly, loss of bodily functions. Many factors come into play, but in the end, someone has to make a decision and that has to be the owner.
That will always be the case. The upside is that as painful as it is to lose a pet, the joy of that companion will always make the pain worthwhile.
So scratch their ears, rub their belly’s, and love on them every day because that decision will come sooner than we expect.
netloafer (anonymous) says...
Doc
Thanks for being who you are. I know that I'm going to have to make that decision one day for Ranger, and especially Jack. When it comes I know I'll hearbroken. But I also know I'll have someone with your kind heart to pick me up when I fall.
Thanks again. You're the best!
January 28, 2012 at 5:17 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Diana (anonymous) says...
Thank you for writing such a compassionate piece on such a difficult decision.
January 28, 2012 at 5:56 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
sciguy (anonymous) says...
I will never forget the pain of that decision, and the feeling that I was betraying my pet by deciding on euthanasia. I felt that way even though I knew that his condition was terminal, painful, and untreatable.
I traded his pain for my pain, relieved his suffering and took on my own. And I would do it again. It's the last, greatest gift a pet owner can give.
January 28, 2012 at 6:14 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
spectator (anonymous) says...
Your attitude of compassion is why I entrust the care of my animal companions to you.
January 28, 2012 at 7:09 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Observer (anonymous) says...
A great article and thank you for speaking from and to the heart. The wee-ones give us unconditional love and reflect the love which is bestowed upon them. It is the last greatest act of unconditional love for the pet which sets aside our own fervent desire to retain them with us, to end their suffering, Love them enough to provide what is so desperately needed.
We place that precious one in the Hand of God and His eternal love.
January 29, 2012 at 7:49 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
jamesbordonaro (James Bordonaro) says...
This is a very moving and timely essay. Just this week a man committed suicide after having to euthanize his dog.
See story here: http://www.huliq.com/12291/actor-nick...
January 29, 2012 at 10:52 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
neighbor (anonymous) says...
Have had to make the choice whether or not to have a pet put down twice. The first one was an old cranky dog that got aggressive towards my child due to jealousy. Was hard choice to make, even more difficult to do because she was such a smart loyal friend, but I wasn't going to allow her to harm my child or someone else's kid had I given her away. The second incident, the wife and kids would not let me take the family pet in that was old and suffering from cancer and hip displacea. I had to watch her slowly decline, hating every minute of it. If I had it to do over again, there would have not been any discussion, I should have taken her in, she did not have fun in her final days.
January 30, 2012 at 1:37 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )