When we think of a person’s life and the impact it has on others, we only need to visualize a stone thrown into a pond. Think of the ripples that smoothly extend out from where the stone hits the water.
Residents of north Lyon County, especially students at Northern Heights High School, learned Wednesday just how far those ripples can spread.
On Wednesday afternoon, less than 30 minutes after school was dismissed, a car filled with four Heights students was involved in a collision with a pickup truck on the Americus Road. One student died at the scene; another a few hours later at a local hospital; a third Thursday evening at another hospital.
In all, six people were involved in the wreck. The four students all had ties to Americus. The two adults in the truck were from Council Grove.
The news spread like wildfire, thanks to technology favored by the younger generation.
Through texting, by the time officials could meet with athletes after practices at Northern Heights, many students already knew what had happened. As students drifted home, Facebook took over as the medium of choice. Despite the fact that it was nearly 10 p.m. before law-enforcement authorities were able to release the names of all involved, word circulated quickly and Facebook pages turned into memorials.
All across the Facebook community of those who knew the students came the question — Why?
“Why? Why did it have to happen like this?” wrote one sophomore.
The suddenness of change couldn’t be escaped.
“I can’t believe it all happened so fast,” another student wrote. “One minute we were sitting in Seminar talking about how Kasi would want to be an owl; the next, everything is tragic.”
Along with the question of “why” came the question of “what if”?
Although not publicly discussed on Facebook, it came up in living rooms of those who knew people in the wreck. It came up in whispered conversations on the street or in offices the morning after.
What if one of the students had needed to return to school for something forgotten, delaying their trip?
What if everyone in the accident were wearing a seat belt, not just the driver of the pickup truck?
What if the truck had come through a few seconds earlier?
Unfortunately, there are times that there are no answers to the why’s and what if’s. Instead, the students of Northern Heights will remember Wednesday, Sept. 8, 2010, for the rest of their lives. They may forget the date, but they’ll remember their classmates who died.
In the aftermath of Wednesday’s tragedy, adults — parents, grandparents and friends — have come forward with vivid memories of their high school classmates lost 30, 40, even 50 years ago.
Thursday became a day to help students — as well as teachers — begin to deal with what they will never forget. When they arrived at school, teachers were greeted with staff meetings. They were given announcements to read to each class. The statements dealt with facts, not rumors. Counselors from other school districts with training in crisis counseling were available to talk to any student who desired it.
But classes went on as normal.
“What schools do now can sometimes come off as cold and callous,” said North Lyon County Superintendent Mike Nulton.
In decades past, he said, schools would close in the wake of tragedies like this one. But that left students often home alone without coping mechanisms. Often, this brought more tragedies as students quietly spiraled into depressions.
“Our goal is to provide a framework of normalcy within which to process their grief,” Nulton said.
For teachers, “normal” is teaching. For students, it’s the structure of their day, moving from class to class and working on assignments. It also includes playing junior high football and volleyball games on Thursday night and Heights’ football game tonight.
What else can be done?
We can donate to the funds set up to help the families who never expected to be planning and paying for funerals at this stage of their lives. As one mother said, “No parent should have to bury a child.”
We can reach out to those represented by the ripples closest to the center of the circle — the parents, brothers and sisters who are faced with an unbearable loss the moment they open their eyes in the morning until they finally fall into an exhausted sleep at the end of the day.
We can encourage them to talk about those they’ve lost, if they choose. Often they fear they will make others uncomfortable. But sharing their memories does bring comfort.
We can remind everyone we love to wear seat belts every time they get into a vehicle. And we can hug our loved ones a little more often and a little harder because we never know when everything normal can change in a split second.
And those who knew Lenny Brown, Kasidy Hart and Joanna Posey can hold their memories close to their hearts so that, even as the ripples fade at the edges of the pond, these teens will never be forgotten.
Gwendolynne Larson
Executive Editor
kantaro (anonymous) says...
I must say, this is very well put, the idea of the ripple effect, it can spread the all parts of the water in a matter of seconds. The loss of the students, will always remain with the students, friends, family of NHHS, and the surrounding areas that know the kids for a long while.
As you said, we can hug our loved ones, and know it might even be the last time , cause we do not know what can happen. Its like a silent room, and a sneeze, it is random, its abrupt, and it echos for a while. These kids death's will not be forgotten, but it will echo for years to come, and i just hope their friends, family will let others know that even if a belt is not 100% in saving your life, its better then a 0% of not wearing it.
I am not religious,I do however, believe in reasons things happen. To me, I see that these kids were taken for a bigger purpose that we as humans, will never be able to grasp. I was once told "God takes the young, cause its their turn to fight in the holy war" Whether that is true or not, i dont know, its all based on what you believe. I just know, each of those kids, will always be remembered.
May their souls rest in piece, and may their families, and friends find the peace they are searching for.
September 10, 2010 at 10:28 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
kantaro (anonymous) says...
eh, I type fast sometimes, i mean "peace" not "piece" Sorry.
September 10, 2010 at 10:28 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
Not to worry kantaro.....we all do it. You however write very well. Perhaps you should pursue it.
Meanwhile I am very sorry for the loss of your friends and only hope, maybe, that something good can come from it. But I am very sure that is hard to see right now.
Gwen
Well stated. One of your best...and very true.
September 10, 2010 at 10:51 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
kantaro (anonymous) says...
There is "good" from all tragic things, it brings people together, it brings back memories of times that each person can smile and even laugh about.
They say "death brings smiles, and tears, laughter and fear" Which, i know is true having lost quite a few friends and family this year alone. Everyone has their way of dealing with this type of thing, and sometimes they need someone else to join them in the mourning of a lost friend ,or family member. So I urge all parents, students, alike to make sure all their kids, friends that knew the teens that were involved and passed, to make sure they are all ok, and help them cope with it, and have them speak of better times, silly things, so laughter and smiles are given, and not tears of sadness, but tears of remembrance of happy times.
September 10, 2010 at 11:03 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
neighbor (anonymous) says...
Well said Gwen, thank you.
September 10, 2010 at 1:42 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
create (anonymous) says...
Well done, Gwen. Yes, the idea of ripples on the water's surface relates well here. Very Zen. Thank you.
September 10, 2010 at 3:46 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
reddog (K. B. Thomas Jr.) says...
Just think about the person that led Billy Graham to the Lord and the ripple effect it had on hummanity. One person can make a difference and you can learn something from everyone. MOST PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE BEFORE THEY CARE HOW MUCH YOU KNOW. James F Hind. Wall Street Journal.
September 11, 2010 at 1:26 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )