Currently	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri
90°
Fair	88° 58°	84° 59°	79° 60°	69° 51°	70° 55°

Of soccer moms and birthday cakes

By Gwendolynne Larson

Monday, October 18, 2010

A vitriolic comment left recently on The Gazette’s website started me thinking of the role of mothers in our children’s lives.

Our publisher, Chris Walker, had written a cute item about the plans his wife, Ashley, had for their youngest child’s birthday cake. Like all good storytellers, Chris’ version was slightly exaggerated.

Nevertheless, the short tale brought this comment: “Ashley is obviously a typical soccer woman who thinks the world revolves around her children.”

Well, I should certainly hope so.

Greg and I have been blessed to be surrounded by others who share our belief that our children are the center of the universe — for now. We believe that our children are gifts from God, but that we only have them for about 18 years.

Back in 1993 when Alex was born, we doubted all of our friends who told us the next 18 years would pass in a blink. Now, as Alex visits colleges and plans the next chapter of his life, we know they were right.

All of our boys will spend more time living away from us than they will under our roof. That’s why the time we have with them is so precious.

So, yes, our world does revolve around our children in that we allow our schedule to fill up with their activities and interests. In our house full of boys, that means athletic events — football, basketball and baseball games — with a school play or two thrown in for good measure. It also means shuttling them to friends’ houses for sleepovers or picking friends up to come to our house.

Greg and I inherited our attitudes from our parents, who also attended our functions. It helped that each of us had an educator for a parent. My dad was my high school principal; Greg’s mom was his school librarian. So, both had reasons to attend all the extracurricular activities.

We also are blessed with jobs that allow us the flexibility to be at our boys’ activities. Not all parents are so lucky. But even our friends who have to miss some activities because of work find ways to spend time with their children.

Making sure that we love our children and they know it is the best way to build a solid foundation for them. It’s that foundation that will give them the fortitude to face whatever life has in store for them after they’ve left our house.

As for birthday cakes — Ashley didn’t end up making the elaborate creation that Chris originally described. Still, she did bake and decorate a dinosaur-shaped cake, which is much more than I can say I ever did.

Instead, my boys had Mildred Bura in their lives — a fact that kept me away from birthday cakes for a good five years. Alex was 1 month old when Mildred started babysitting him during the week. And as each child in her care had a birthday, Mildred would plan to bake their cake as her gift to them.

As the birthdays neared, Mildred would take the lucky children upstairs to her stash of character cake pans to pick out whatever cake pan caught their fancy. And, if they wanted something Mildred didn’t have, she’d rent it from R.J.’s Cake & Candy Supply.

For Alex’s first birthday, Mildred baked him a Winnie-the-Pooh cake. When I picked it up, she made me promise that I’d let Alex eat it and not be silly enough to expect him to be neat and tidy.

As a new mom, I hadn’t thought of that. I probably would have stood by with a damp rag to clean him up and tried to make him use his fork and take reasonable bites.

Instead, I took Mildred’s advice. I still have the pictures to prove that Alex not only ate his cake, he wore it proudly.

Eventually, I took over the birthday cakes, but I’ve probably bought as many as I’ve made for the boys — except for the years of Cub Scout cake auctions. Those I helped the boys decorate, and they’ll be quick to tell you I was clueless.

Alex, as the oldest, was always the guinea pig.

For his first Cub Scout cake, he’d drawn his version of a toucan bird, which is what he wanted on the top of the sheet cake. We cut out his drawing and traced it on the layer of frosting with a toothpick. Then it was time to “color” it.

I had the brilliant idea to use colored sugar for some of the areas. We outlined with frosting, then sprinkled the colored sugar on.

It was a perfect — and easy — solution, except for one tiny detail. We’d decorated the cake the night before the auction because we didn’t have time after school the same day.

Who knew that colored sugar would melt into the frosting layer?

Alex’s colorful toucan had become a brown blob, and we’d learned a valuable lesson — leave the colored sugars for something else.

As for Ashley’s dinosaur cake, I haven’t asked Will yet whether he liked it. I’m sure he did, simply because it was his.

What I do know is that, just as my children have done, Will will surprise his parents years from now when he says something like, “Remember the birthday when I had the dinosaur cake?”

I’m always amazed at what memories my boys hold the most dear.

But I do know that I’m storing up as many memories as I can because the time my boys are living at home is quickly coming to an end.

Comments

momoftwo (anonymous) says...

Amen! When you become parents, your priorities change! I know my world certainly revolves around my children, be it athletic events, help with homework, taking a carload of kids to the movies or wherever. I wouldn't have it any other way!

October 18, 2010 at 3:12 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )

biscuitboy (anonymous) says...

As I am sure all of you who work at the Gazette know all to well, when you put your work out in front of the public there will always be those who see that as a target. That even includes those that post on this forum.

With some, I actually don't believe I am living up to my ideals if I am not drawing fire from them. When you draw fire from some people just consider it a job well done.

Nice column Gwen

October 18, 2010 at 3:37 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )

neighbor (anonymous) says...

And boy does it come crashing down when the reality arrives that it's over!!!!!

October 18, 2010 at 3:43 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )

sandman (anonymous) says...

Very nicely stated and so agree with all. Those precious years go by so very quickly and each one is as precious as the one before. Now I have grand-children, and yes! just as our children were wonderful so are our grand-children.

October 18, 2010 at 4:08 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )

HenryVIII (anonymous) says...

It's fine if YOUR life revolves around your kids, but parents need to recognize that OUR lives don't revolve around their kids. Do you really think we care about the day-to-day shenanigans in the Walker household? I know I don’t care about some random kid’s cake. If I did care, I’d be the Walker’s Facebook friend or something. It’s not very professional to rant back and forth on a public forum as they Walkers do. It’s bad enough when a parent goes on and on about their kid in a verbal conversation, let alone in a newspaper.
This is all just my own opinion, of course. Some people may have no lives and enjoy living vicariously through the Walkers’ bickering and family stories. If you put your personal stuff out there for all to see, you have to expect annoyed people will comment on it to voice their displeasure.
‘enry

October 18, 2010 at 4:29 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )

givemeabreak (anonymous) says...

Well Henry you must have cared enough to read and post your opinion!!

October 18, 2010 at 5:28 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )

REWBA (anonymous) says...

henry wanted a dinosaur cake but his mom told him that dinosaurs were extinct. I guess henry's mom didn't love him enough to kill a dinosaur and bake him a dinosaur cake. Those Walker kids are really lucky. Henry's just jealous. :-)

October 18, 2010 at 6:31 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )

create (anonymous) says...

Dynamite column, Gwen.

Children grow up so fast, and those lucky enough to have parents who truly care about them by giving them the gift of time will grow to be caring adults, the kind we want and need in our communities, the kind who grow up to teach, or to volunteer for the military, or serve in the political arena, or do volunteer work, or give freely to charity, or work in the public sector.

Unfortunately, our community is also filled with troublesome people whose parents did not give them the gift of time, the disgruntled ones, the alcoholics who beat their wives or husbands and children, the stoned ones, the drop outs, the ones who never seem to learn how to walk a straight line.

Henry, just don't read the columns you don't like. Did you ever think that you too are annoying to some of us?

October 19, 2010 at 8:14 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )