These deaths were recorded across the United States in September:
- 13-year-old Seth Walsh of California hung himself as did 15-year-old Billy Lucas, of Indiana, 15-year-old Justin Aaberg of Minnesota, 19-year-old Raymond Chase of Rhode Island and 17-year-old Cody J. Barker of Wisconsin;
- 13 year-old Asher Brown of Houston, Texas, shot himself; and
- 18 year-old Rutgers student, Tyler Clementi, jumped from the George Washington Bridge.
All these deaths were attributed to bullying. All in the United States. All because they were “different” than other students. All because they reportedly led a life that was outside the so-called “mainstream.”
News stories can be found all over the Internet detailing the tragic loss of these teens. News stories and editorials as well as social media posts express outrage against the taunting and persistent bullying these teens had to endure. When they could not take the bullying anymore, they ended their lives.
Although the outrage is there, it’s not reaching the right audience — these teens’ peers. Bullying is a long-term problem, not just a problem that surfaced in September. And it needs to be stopped.
Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres called teenage bullying an “epidemic.”
“Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you,” DeGeneres said in an online blog that has been circulating on her website as well as the Internet.
There are people working hard in this country to prevent and stop teenage bullying, and they should be commended for their efforts. But for the teens who have taken their lives as a result of bullying, efforts did not work. Efforts to stop bullying fell on deaf ears, and somehow their peers still felt the need to taunt and harm these teens.
It’s angering. And it’s tragic. And the names mentioned above just scratch the surface of the number of children and teens who have ended their lives after being bullied and harassed. Now is the time to continue to work together to crack down harder on bullying, creating non-tolerance policies and making the public aware of this issue.
Bullying should not be tolerated. Children should be educated that it’s OK to be different. It’s ok to be who you are. And it’s never, ever ok to tease, taunt or punish somebody because they are different than you — no matter what the difference is.
Brandy Nance
Senior reporter
For more information on bullying go to these Pacer.org/bullying or stompoutbullying.org.
jasper007 (anonymous) says...
My 17 year-old son had been bullied throughout his school days in Emporia. He has been at an "out-of-town" school for 3 years now, and is doing very well, no bullying, etc. 2 things come to mind. (1), now days, kids have NO respect for anything or anyone: (2) Society no longer allows kids to go through the "ritual" of growing. As small boys, when I was a kid, there were fist fights, wrestling, etc. After the dust cleared you had a friend for life. Now, teachers, administrators, parents and other "powers that be" have decided this is bad behavior and not to be tolerated. That is one reason why knives, guns and other weapons are "wielded" now days. I don't want to see my son hurt, but on the other hand, I would like for my son to be able to stand up for himself, fist-to-cuffs can make a young man a stronger, more respected man. Now courts are backed up, because everyone is "sue" crazy. Let the kids help themselves!!!!!!!
October 12, 2010 at 11:23 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
genxer (anonymous) says...
My understanding is that the high school has a zero tolerance rule for kids who stick up for themselves against bullies. This rule basically gives the kid who stands up to a bully a harsher punishment than the bully himself. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, that is simply something I heard from a parent of an EHS student. However, if that policy is in fact true, and if it is a widespread policy implemented at high schools across the country. I think we've found our problem.
October 12, 2010 at 11:33 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
jasper007 (anonymous) says...
genxer, you are right. My son was bullied all the time. The solution? Allow him to go to lunch early, board the bus for home early, etc. HE was basically punished. Then other kids made fun of him for being a "tattle-tale" and because he had to go earlier to activities then others. Let the parents put a firm hand or belt on some of these very soft bottoms, maybe things would change.
October 12, 2010 at 11:47 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
genxer (anonymous) says...
jasper, I feel for you. As a parent, I cannot imagine the amount of self control you have to apply not to take matters into your own hands.
October 12, 2010 at 12:04 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
genxer (anonymous) says...
Should say "had" to apply. Glad you were able to get your son into a better school system.
October 12, 2010 at 12:05 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
REWBA (anonymous) says...
Pharmaceuticals with side effects that include suicidal thoughts and tendencies are being prescribed to children as if they were candy. Is your child energetic? We’ve got drugs for that. Is your child shy? We’ve got a drug for that too. Does your child seem depressed? Here, have some pills! Then when children taking these medications kill themselves it’s all about something else. It must be the bullies at school. It can’t be the drugs which list suicide as a side effect. Pharmaceutical companies wouldn’t sell anything that would harm children. Would they? I’m sure that there must be some national push to provide tax dollars to identify the problem and so the school says the problem is bullies. It can’t be the school officials who recommended to the parents of the dead children that they should be medicated. No! It can’t be the drugs. It has to be another problem so we will solve the problem by providing additional funding to the people who created the problem in the first place, the schools staff. Bullying isn’t new. The schools have ignored bullies for years…Usually because the bully was one of the school staff’s child. Get real! Quit doping kids! jmo
October 12, 2010 at 3:40 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
miss_thang (anonymous) says...
I agree with jasper007 and genxer.I also have a son that is getting bullied and picked on and has been for yrs. Now he has finally had enough and is starting to fight back and he is the one always in trouble. Everytime he has tried to talk to the teachers and councelor he has been told to stop tattling. Makes no sence to me.But I bet when he finally does completly have enough and knocks the crap out of someone I bet they will start leaving him alone. Its just very sad that it will come to that and that he will be "in trouble" for sticking up for himself. And to you rewba I also have a son that is on medication. He is very much adhd and not only does it help him with his school but it has also helped him with his self esteem. With not getting in trouble as much for something that he has no control over he is a much happier child. And that as a parent is all I want for my children. So lets not blame medication for all of this. Lets put the blame where it belongs and that is society itself!
October 12, 2010 at 4:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
snow (anonymous) says...
The best solution I've seen for bullying is peer pressure on the bully. Kids who see it happening, and don't like it, should step forward immediate, call out the bully and put the shame where it belongs. It really can make a difference if kids don't just let things slide when they see it happen, but step up and speak up.
October 12, 2010 at 4:56 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
REWBA (anonymous) says...
miss_thang, What a clever name! It reminds me of this one lady I knew who would use the slang word "thang" a lot. She liked getting meds for her kids too except she took the speed herself. I'm sure that's not the case with your child though. I'm glad you found a way for your child to be more like a normal child. That's great!
October 12, 2010 at 5:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
sail (anonymous) says...
REWBA,I agree with your 3:40 post,well put.
October 12, 2010 at 5:53 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cookatwork (anonymous) says...
The comment about calling out the bully is all good... except... the school's won't tolerate it... it's called ganging up on somebody... my son was bullied by a gang of kids BUT the gang of kids were sneaky and did it quietly and sneaky... other kids were too scared to gang up on the bullies so when my son stood up for himself he got detention and suspended and the gang of kids just laughed at him when he came back... I was told until they "caught" the other kids doing something; nothing could be done to them.
BUT... outside of that... these children in the story were bullied because they were gay... I do NOT see that mentioned in the story AT ALL... many parents are against bullying BUT when they find out that it is against someone who's sexual preference is different they don't consider that to be wrong.
Either way... stopping the bullying starts at HOME!
October 12, 2010 at 6:59 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
reddog (K. B. Thomas Jr.) says...
I feel like a lot of these kids are being druged by professonials.
October 13, 2010 at 12:16 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
reddog (K. B. Thomas Jr.) says...
Go to Alex Jones kids being drugged.
October 13, 2010 at 12:20 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
genxer (anonymous) says...
REWBA, over medication may be a problem in some cases but the common denominator is the bullying. Your personal attacks against another poster who came on here to share their personal experience is unwelcome also.
reddog, how do I go to Alex Jones kids being drugged? What is the address? Please help.
October 13, 2010 at 7:45 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
I was bullied by one particular guy in school. He was a big jock type, a couple of years older than me, and loved putting me in my place.
A couple of years ago I opened the Gazette one day to see his name in the obituaries. At first I smiled...then I laughed...and thought.....Yea...the bastard finally got what he deserved.
All this bullying happened over fifty years ago. The effects can last a long time
October 13, 2010 at 8:48 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Chevy_Guy (anonymous) says...
genxer,
While there is some truth to what Alex Jones says, he is a shock jock radio host and earns a living by saying crazy things and exaggerated truths to get people to listen to him.
For starters, he claims BP deliberately blew up their oil rig because they are in bed with climate change scientists. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNW0lk...
I used to watch Alex Jones to get a good laugh, but anymore I can't stand to watch him. I can't find the video you're looking for, but I'm pretty sure it's just about fluoride in our water. It's just more crazy conspiracy theory talk.
October 13, 2010 at 1:45 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
miss_thang (anonymous) says...
Rewba....I really found your comment ridiculous!! I would never take my sons meds. Im quite sure that some kids are over medicated and that some parents let there kids get put on meds so that they wont have to deal with them and that there are some parents that do take their kids meds. BUT not every parent that has a kid on meds are crack heads looking for their next high at their kids expence!! I guess what Im saying is that I do agree that there are too many kids on medication that may not necissarily need it but regardless its wrong for ADULTS to let kids get away with treating other kids like they are below them to the point that they dont want to live anymore! So you can say whatever you want but I bet you were one of those people that got joy out of making someone else feel bad! What a miserable human! And just to clarify something else my child that is on medication is a very "normal" child that has lots of friends that look up to him and respect him for the respectful person that I have raised him to be,before the medication. But now he is also a honor roll student because he can concentrate and focus on the task at hand now. And one more "thang" I really dont give a crap about your opinion on this subject, you obviously have never had to deal with anything of this nature, I love both of my children and as I said before all I want is for them to be happy and enjoy their childhood!
October 13, 2010 at 8:09 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
REWBA (anonymous) says...
miss_thang, Although I meant for it to be lighthearted, that comment was really bad.:-( Please accept a sincere apology. I'm a parent of a child diagnosed with severe Autism 24 years ago. I don't know it that counts towards dealing "with anything of this nature." but I do know I feel bad for making you feel bad. Sorry!
October 13, 2010 at 10:57 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
miss_thang (anonymous) says...
rewba apology accepted...thank you
October 14, 2010 at 8:52 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
REWBA (anonymous) says...
I listened to President Obama's town hall with young Americans on this very subject today and when he said, "what we may think is funny or cute may end up being powerfully hurtful." I totally agreed. He also said, "peer pressure can lead people to bully, but peer pressure can also say bullying is not acceptable."...So, for standing up against hurtful remarks without being hurtful yourself, the Good Samaritan Award goes to genxer. Great Job!
October 14, 2010 at 10:29 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
romano1784 (anonymous) says...
I gotta go with Jasper on this one. When i was in school and got tired of the bullying, I hit back. The bullies tend to be somewhat like lions, they pray on those that are weak and can't/won't defend themselves. Once you hit back though the bully realizes that its not as much fun or as easy when your pray can punch you in the head! The schools dont look for bullies, to often they dont look at much besides the test scores.
The real solution is to teach your kids that fighting should be the last resort, but that it is sometimes innevitable. I dont know if this is true of women or not, but men fight. A few thousand years of evolution wont take fighting out of the male psyche just because some bleeding heart whines. And yes medication is a big problem as well. A friend of mine's kid recently started school in Emporia. Good kid, well mannered, just energetic and the teacher suggests to the parents that he may have A.D.D. and should see a dr. about getting put on medication. Never had trouble with the kid before, and not on medication still. the last time i checked into it, 71% of childrend ages 5-15 are on some form of ADD, despression, birth control, hormone regulation, something. Most of its because people dont seem to understand anymore that kids will be kids!
October 25, 2010 at 2:21 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
romano1784
I agree.
In an earlier post I related a bullying incident that happened to me.....and I carried a hatred of that bully to his grave. But not long after that I learned just what you are saying....most bullies are paper tigers. They pick out the smallest and weakest of the lot to prove their manliness (not unlike wife-beaters I might add). My dad taught me to at least make damn sure I got a sandwich out of them as they were taking a meal out of me.
And you know what...it worked. Very few bullies are willing to give up that sandwich. Instead they will take their misplaced ideas about manliness to the next more willing victim.
Here's to unwilling victims!
October 25, 2010 at 3:02 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
threecs (anonymous) says...
Bullies select targets. The target has little to do with the choice, except being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Also, research has proven over and over that the bully on the morning bus is the target at morning recess and the bystander (or witness role) at lunch. The kids switch roles all day long - all very smoothly under the radar of the adults. There are excellent evidence-based programs for empowering the witness/bystander role which is the only hope for stopping the bullying. Even though witnesses rarely take action, when they do (and they have been taught the right action to take) they are 98% effective in stopping the bullying immediately. It's like a dance and relies on all three roles to be in place before the bully receives satisfaction.
October 25, 2010 at 6:05 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
tbluma (anonymous) says...
As I remember it. The 18 yr. old Rutgers student supposedly jumped because his roommate put a video of him on U-Tube in a compromising situation with another male. It was referred to as a hate crime.
My question is this
Had he been taped in a compromising situation with a female and had then jumped, would it be considered a hate crime or bullying?
I would venture to say not. We probably wouldn't have heard near as much about it if anything.
I don't happen to beleive it was either, it was a joke that went bad.
The same goes for Ellen DeGeneres.
October 25, 2010 at 6:59 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
I think the difference is had he been shown on You Tube in a compromising position with a female he would not have been subjected to scorn and ridicule. Instead he would achieved hero status and bragging rights and would have had no reason to jump.
It was the fact that it was with another man thereby subjecting him to almost certain scorn and ridicule that raises it to the level of a hate crime. It was the fear of the consequences of the act being made public that caused the suicide.....not the publishing of the act itself.
October 25, 2010 at 7:10 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
create (anonymous) says...
Any administrator or counselor who accuses a kid of tattling should be fired. It is the job of the adult in the situation to take action, not belittle the informer.
October 25, 2010 at 7:35 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
tbluma (anonymous) says...
Bisquit
Just playing the devil's advocate here, buttt
What if do to his upbring he would have been subject to scorn and ridicule by his family members had it been a female or perhaps a person with a spouse and the video was with another person.
Where I'm at with this is I don't believe in the hate crime classification.
October 25, 2010 at 7:45 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
tbluma
I don't know if it was a hate crime. I guess that is what the trial will decide. It all goes to the motivation the roommate really had for posting the video on You Tube.
If as you suggest it was a practical joke gone wrong....or any other type of foolish college prank....then I would agree with you about the hate crime charge. But since the prosecutor chose to file the charge as a hate crime I can only presume he has some information leading him to believe the video was purposefully published to punish the victim for his "crime" of homosexuality.
I suppose all of this will come out at trial but to me it all goes to the motive for making the video public.
October 25, 2010 at 7:57 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
tbluma (anonymous) says...
My point is
What if it was purposely done to punish the victim for his/her crime of adultery?
Would it still be a hate crime?
October 25, 2010 at 8:29 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
I would say no......because to qualify as a hate crime it would have to have been done to the person due to what they were....not what they had done. But that is just my understanding of what a hate crime is.
In other words it would have had to have been done because he was gay....not because he had committed adultery.
October 25, 2010 at 10:11 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
romano1784 (anonymous) says...
Just to put my own spin on this but... If the boy jumped to his death just because a video was put out on him doing whatever with another male, then he had a lot rolling around his mind to begin with. My question is even if the video was never taken, how long would it have been before he killed himself anyway? Its very obvious that he felt guilty about his lifestyle to begin with, enough so that when it became public knowledge he killed himself. Who's to say he wouldnt have done the same thing if his mother caught him, his brother, his best friend, and so on and ect.
October 26, 2010 at 1:27 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
Hey....I am not supporting or rebutting the filing of hate crime charges in this case......we will have to wait until the evidence is presented at trial before I would feel comfortable with that. In reality what romano 1784 says makes a lot of sense to me and might well have been the final outcome to his life anyway.
All I was trying to do was explain (at least as I understood it) why hate charges had been filed in the case. They may or may not be justified, but the prosecutor obviously felt there was enough evidence to justify the filing. Now he will have to present that evidence in court and let a jury decide if he was right.
There are those people that think the whole concept of hate crime charges are wrong and they should never be filed. I disagree in principle, but I don't have enough information in this case to know.
October 26, 2010 at 3:13 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
romano 1784
One more thought. In the filing of hate crime charges it is irrelevant what the victim felt about what he was, what is relevant is how the perp felt about what he was. The perps state of mind is what will be on trial....not the victims.
October 26, 2010 at 3:17 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
create (anonymous) says...
Very true, biscuit. Another thought -- perhaps a hate crime charge is more broad and gives the prosecution more to work with within the parameters of hate crime laws.
Perhaps there will be testimony from the other man in the video that will shed light on whether the roommate was taping this maliciously.
I have a big problem with a defense of "it was just a joke." Would he have taped it were it a heterosexual rendezvous? We'll never know.
October 26, 2010 at 6:57 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
Good Morning create
Yes, I think the whole concept of a hate crime goes to the motive. I'm reminded of the terrible case down in Texas a few years ago where a black man was beaten and drug behind a pickup down a road until little was left of his corpse to bury.
He was beaten and drug to death, not for robbery or revenge or any other reason than that he was black. The perps were convicted there of a hate crime. They also claimed erroneously to being Aryan Nation members prior to trial. This false claim did not set well with the real Aryan Nation and the last I heard they were still in protective isolation.
I am sure the reason the hate charges were filed will be brought out at trial......whether or not they stick is another matter. I don't know if hate crimes give prosecutors broader parameters similar to the Rico or racketeering laws. But I do know sentencing guidelines for a hate crime are much...much....more severe than for a normal crime.
October 26, 2010 at 7:42 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
create (anonymous) says...
You're right about sentencing. Maybe that's what the prosecutor is after. It wouldn't be unlike using the Patriot Act to obtain similar advantage of range.
October 26, 2010 at 8:13 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Steve_Corbin (anonymous) says...
http://cjonline.com/news/state/2010-1...
October 26, 2010 at 10:36 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
tbluma (anonymous) says...
Bisquit
You're right I don't believe in hate crime.
The black guy drug behind the truck isn't any more dead than if he'd been white.
The gay kid isn't any more dead than if he'd been straight.
Hate crime is nothing more than a far left liberal way of making people feel good about what happens to minorities.
Let any of the above happen in reverse and hate crime wouldn't come into the picture.
October 26, 2010 at 7:54 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
tbluma
I am pretty certain you are right about hate crimes not being filed had the gay guy been straight. I knew that's where you were going last night. I am less certain about your claim that it would never happen in the case of race, but also know I have never heard of a case of it happening yet.
But I have heard you many times justify income and tax disparities between rich and poor with the simple shrug that life is not fair. And you know what?.....This appears to be another time life is just not fair. It's strange how that is more bothersome to you when you are the one on the short end of the stick.
October 26, 2010 at 8:55 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
According to Wikipedia;
"Hate crimes (also known as bias-motivated crimes) occur when a perpetrator targets a victim because of his or her perceived membership in a certain social group, usually defined by racial group, religion, sexual orientation, disability, class, ethnicity, nationality, age, gender, gender identity, or political affiliation.[1]"
Such charges have been filed and or at least considered a number of times in minority on white crime....but I could not document any actual convictions at this time.
"Of the nearly 8,000 hate crimes reported to the FBI in 1995, the most frequently reported motivation was bias against blacks, almost 3,000,[5] other frequently reported bias motivations were anti-white, Jewish, Gay, Muslim, Asian, Native American, and Hispanic.[5]"
Despite appearances however actual hate crime convictions appear to be fairly low in all categories.....
"However, according to the FBI Hate Crime Statistics for 2007, the number of hate crimes decreased to 7,624 incidents reported by participating law enforcement agencies.[41] These incidents included 9 murders and 2 rapes(out of the almost 17,000 murders and 90,000 forcible rapes committed in the U.S. in 2007).[42]"
All quoted material from Wikipedia....here's the link.....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hate_crime
October 27, 2010 at 4:38 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
biscuitboy (anonymous) says...
One interesting thing I omitted above.....there have been a number of hate crime convictions concerning black on black incidents. There have also been incidents where charges were filed against Jews and Latinos for hate crime. So the charge is not exclusively used against whites. Several of these incidents grew out of Jewish-Black turf wars in New York and other large eastern cities.
October 27, 2010 at 4:45 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )