Rape is not ‘surprise sex’
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
“It’s not rape, it’s surprise sex.”
That is the actual title of about a dozen groups on Facebook. While the following is small compared to the millions of users on Facebook, the groups combined have more than 1,500 members and has people across Facebook posting calls to report the pages to Facebook as offensive and/or a call for violence.
Despite the outcry, the pages remain up and the comments that rape doesn’t exist, it’s merely “surprise sex” remain on Facebook. The most “popular” group on Facebook of this nature has a little more than 1,200 people. One of the comments call the page “genius” and others say it is not rape if you yell “surprise” first.
In the eyes of a victim or anybody else who advocates against violence, this is wrong. Dead wrong. While the page claims to be “just for fun,” it is juvenile at best and minimizes the effects sexual assault has on a victim’s life.
According to www.rainn.org, one in six women and one in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. In 2007, there were 248,300 victims of sexual assault, and someone is sexually assaulted in the United States every two minutes. Facebook groups downplaying the violent act of rape is a slap in the face to every victim.
It’s time Facebook stepped up and eliminated such pages.
A Facebook application, Pieces of Flair, which allows a user to sport “buttons” on their Facebook profile removed a piece of “Flair” that boasted the phrase. Another group, “Petition to Stop the Sale of T-shirts that say ‘It’s not rape, it’s surprise sex,’” has more than 12,000 supporters.
That’s more than any of the “surprise sex” groups combined. Those people get it. Why can’t Facebook?
Rape is not funny. Violence of any kind is not funny. Violent “humor” is a slap in the face to victims and their families. And it should be stopped.
For more information on sexual assault, its effects and how to get help, go to www.rainn.org. To report a Facebook group, go to the group, and scroll to the bottom of the page on the left hand side where it says “report page” and choose the appropriate reason for reporting from the drop-down menu.
Brandy Nance
Senior reporter
enddvsa (anonymous) says...
Very well said, Brandy. To learn more about sexual assault services in our area visit www.soskansas.com or call the SOS 24-hour helpline at 620-342-1870.
August 31, 2010 at 2:56 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
bobhornet (anonymous) says...
I probably won't be popular for making this comment, but I find it more than surprising that a newspaper reporter is advocating the censorship of free speech.
It's idiotic speech, it's offensive speech, it's downright unconscionable for people to trivialize something so horrific as rape. But calling on Facebook to eliminate the page is censorship. All of which raises the old question: if we can censor this kind of speech--however offensive it is--what else can be censored? What else might be deemed "violent humor" that "should be stopped"?
The best way to stop these sort of senseless, offensive jokes is simply to ignore them and to educate ourselves on why they are indecent and hurtful.
August 31, 2010 at 6:49 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
oh4theluvof (anonymous) says...
At the beginning of the second paragraph, I surprise puked.
I'm okay with censorship regarding criminal acts. I consider publishing approval of crimes to be part of the crime.
August 31, 2010 at 8:56 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Maximus (anonymous) says...
Well-stated, BobHornet! Free speech is free speech, no matter how stupid or offensive.
August 31, 2010 at 10:27 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
FreeThinker (anonymous) says...
I attend ESU. I transferred here from a junior college. When I was a freshman in college, I was raped. This will affect me for the rest of my life. But as a young adult of this generation there are certain ways kids accept and handle situations. I was raped by a guy, he bruised and cut me. But to make me feel better and to make the people around me, who were so worried about me, I made jokes. I tried to make light of the horrible situation. Before you ride me off as some stupid kid, look at it from a different perspective. Your statistic states that 1 in 6 women will or has already been sexually assaulted. That's a huge number. There is about 4,169 female students attend ESU. And you said 1 in 33 males will be sexually assaulted, there are 2,314 male students at ESU. Now I know people (of all ages) that are affected by rape, not just the ones that were physically raped themselves. My family and friends went through an extremely emotional period, just because of what had happened to me. (ex. My parents picked up smoking again. They had quit for ten years). As a teen or young adult of this age we facilitate things a different way then that of the previous generations. I am not saying every young adult deals with rape by laughing at rape jokes. But with all of those students attending ESU, that means a minimum of one of the students friends were or will be sexually assaulted. And that is extremely hard to handle. If someone you cared about was sexually harmed or hurt in anyway, and there was literally nothing you could do for them but stand there. Would you not feel helpless? Would you not try to see them smile and laugh? I am sure everyone knows what the show Family Guy is. They are this generation’s spokes person. We are tired of having to be victims and would rather laugh at our unfortunate circumstances. Family Guy pokes fun at rape, gender, race, and illness of any kind; things that our country feels like are issues. We see this and we are able to giggle at the harsh reality of the world. When I was raped I was constantly asking questions like; "What did I do wrong?" "How did I deserve this?" but now because of humor, I am now able to enjoy this world. This world maybe sad and monstrous, but there is a lot of beauty in it. And these "victims" need to see happiness of the world, and chuckle. I was raped a year ago and I am far from being over it, but when I hear the word rape I no longer cringe. When I hear people say “rape is just surprise sex” I chortle instead blow up at them. Because they could be in as much pain as I am, and just looking for an acceptable outlet. Now, I am sure there are ignorant and stupid people out there who think that rape really is "surprise sex", but for us "young'ens" who really know what rape is, give us a break. It’s a healing mechanism for us. So before you cast a hateful glare, and yell us for being idiots, wait and just let them laugh.
September 1, 2010 at 2:44 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
create (anonymous) says...
Thanks for an honest look at your experience, Free Thinker. You sound like a healthy person.
However, like you said, it all depends on perspective. I am no longer a young person, and perhaps my age belies my attitude. If my child or grandchild were to be raped, I'd be interested in using the Charles Bronson method -- very down and dirty retribution.
I'm sorry your parents suffered so much. I hope you keep them close for all they have been through. Please try to look at it from their perspective too.
September 1, 2010 at 10:42 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
genxer (anonymous) says...
I may be alone in this but I found this and it may surprise a lot of you but I found the subject of this article humorous. I actually laughed out loud at the line: " it is not rape if you yell “surprise” first"
This is simply shock humor. Nobody is going to go out rape someone after reading that stuff.
Let's quit with all this crap of being so politically correct.
September 1, 2010 at 4:07 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
empgazfan (anonymous) says...
Anyone dumb enough to have a facebook page and reveal everything about themselves deserves what they get. Anyone dumb enough to read a facebook page in the first place, and worse, assign any significance to anything on a facebook page, is simply too stupid to be spoken to.
September 1, 2010 at 6:40 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
MrCmonkeeDo (anonymous) says...
Actually bobhornet, most of us probably agree with your comment. It is, one should hope, the first concern any American should have when confronted with such things.
However, Facebook like You Tube does have rules that posters agree to by using those sites as "hosts" for the material they post. By necessity Facebook and You Tube also rely on members and the public at large to, in effect, police themselves. The Fact that You Tube will not host videos containing nudity doesn't mean nudity is never on You Tube. However the sheer volume of it's visitors and members dictate that inappropriate material is removed in minutes.
Besides there are plenty of sites that will host just about any kind of material so censorship is not really an issue in this case.
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MrC couldn't agree more with create.
Especially with the Charles Bronson reference; but more importantly, for her referencing the parents perspective.
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empgazfan,
Really?
Your comment is so short sighted it bygod epitomizes the adage: "If you can't say anything nice; don't say anything at all."
There are about 142 million facebook users in the U.S. alone. About 500 million worldwide. Do you really think all those peeps are dumber than you?
LOL Yo!
September 1, 2010 at 10:33 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )