Pregnancy affects every aspect of a teen’s life, from time that can be spent with friends to basic self-esteem issues and everything in between.
Kenda O’Mara, coordinator of Project Teen, which focuses on preventing teen pregnancy, goes to schools to educate teens about teen pregnancy, self-esteem and self worth. O’Mara visits Admire School, Reading School, Americus, Lowther North (for specific teachers that request her), Emporia Middle School, Emporia High School freshman and sophomore classes, Chase County Middle School, Chase County High School and Hartford High School. O’Mara also teaches at summer camp, usually focusing on self-esteem and building healthy relationships.
“Out of the nine schools I visit, eight of them have consistent yearly programming that is always available,” O’Mara said.
O’Mara said there is a support group for teen parents run by The group is actually run by KCSL and Americorps, which have four parents that regularly attend. This is the first year for the group.
O’Mara said often when teens have sex early it results in lower self esteem.
“I think a lot of people think it’s for love and settle for sex,” O’Mara said. “If it doesn’t work out, they experience a loss of self-esteem.”
The emotional effect of a teen pregnancy is dramatic, O’Mara said.
“The emotional effect is overwhelming with the decision and responsibility if they decide to keep the baby,” O’Mara said.
In 2007, there were 28.7 pregnancies per 1,000 teens in Lyon County in the 10 to 19 age group. This is down from 29.5 pregnancies per 1,000 teens in Lyon County in 2006 for the same age group.
“Lyon County has been steadily going down a bit,” O’Mara said.
O’Mara said school is a stressor for teens who are pregnant.
“Less than 1/3 of teen moms graduate,” she added.
Peer support for teen moms varies, O’Mara said.
“It’s interesting to see how peers will or won’t support their friends,” she said. “But they’re (still) subject to be ridiculed, especially when they are starting to show. There’s also another group that celebrates teen pregnancy.”
O’Mara said middle school kids tend to be less accepting than older kids.
One way to prevent teen pregnancy is to start at home.
“If you have a close relationship with your teen you’re helping to reduce all that risky behavior,” O’Mara said, adding that risky behavior includes drugs, sex and other forms of self-destructive behavior.
Conversations about sex and sexuality should be a lifetime discussion, O’Mara said, adding that parents should share with kids their values and what they expect out of them. Because of media coverage about sex and sexuality, conversations should take place sooner rather than later.
“Kids may roll their eyes, but they are listening,” O’Mara said. “They really are listening and accept.”
In Project TEEN, O’Mara gets a variety of questions from teens about teen pregnancy, such as will they gain weight and what other physical implications pregnancy can entail.
“Girls say they don’t want to take the pill because they think they will get fat,” O’Mara said. “But they don’t realize how much weight they will gain if they get pregnant. A lot of times they are horrified. They don’t realize the physical toll with it too.”
O’Mara said that after her presentations at high school she usually has at least one or two people hang back after the presentation to ask her questions.
“My role is giving them information to help them feel comfortable and then hooking them up with a women’s health nurse for the specifics,” O’Mara said. “I am sort of the middle person between sharing information and helping them feel comfortable to make the appointment.”
In addition, O’Mara said she receives about two phone calls a week regarding a teen wanting to talk to a nurse or talk about getting contraception.
“I answer any questions that I can and then have them talk to a nurse,” she said.
O’Mara said the birth control inquiries have gone up since her first year.
“Since students are more comfortable seeing me in their school and knowing what I do,” she said. “If a student has had me in their classroom several times, they know they can call me and I’ll help them any way I can. Only they know they can trust me and I will help them, they are more comfortable using me as a resource.”
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Posted by madpoet (anonymous) on March 23, 2009 at 6:27 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I hope they them tell no birth control is 100% effective except abstinence. I wonder if they still show the chart I saw in high school showing how many sexual contacts you have by having sex with one person who had sex with two. If each person had sex with 2 people the number was huge. I was horrified! It sure worked for me! Back then sex wasn't in the media like today. I know a girl who had her first child just after her 13th birthday. Sad.
Posted by hottopics (anonymous) on March 23, 2009 at 8:37 p.m. (Suggest removal)
I think that all we can do is try to keep the word out there and choices can have consequences.
But I think what really hits home is the borrow a baby for a few hours concept. Once they have experienced what demands are 24/7 with a real baby, they will be more likely to just say no.
Posted by admireed (anonymous) on March 23, 2009 at 9:45 p.m. (Suggest removal)
mrwho, did they live in some "church" compound or was this a concious choice to marry that young and have children?
Posted by madpoet (anonymous) on March 24, 2009 at 8:39 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Mrwho, back in your great-grandparents time, people only lived into their 60s. It made sense to have children young. And the mortality was so high you had to have a lot of kids to have some survive to adulthood. Plus a 12-13 year old back then was way more mature than the average 21 year old today. I bet your great-grandparents were married, too. We're talking about children who have no concept what they are getting into, will not get married, will probably keep the baby for the grandparents to try to raise alongside the mom. That is not a good situation. I've seen the result of teen pregnancies and it's not pretty. The kids are often neglected and the mother often doesn't get to finish school. And I had my child at 33 and while I wish my dad's parents could have met him, I am not sorry I waited. I wasn't ready to have a child in my teens or early twenties. Having a child is a huge responsibility that shouldn't be taken on a whim. And before you condemn people for having kids later, take into account couples sometimes have to try for years to get pregant. It was 3 years of trying for me and more like 5 for a friend of mine.
Posted by madpoet (anonymous) on March 24, 2009 at 9:52 a.m. (Suggest removal)
The girl I mentioned now has 3 kids by 3 fathers and looks older than I do though she's 10 years younger. I don't know that she's out living it up. And I would much rather not have a child than have one too young and mess their lives up by not being able to raise them properly. Society does make kids less mature than in the past. This is not always bad. Why send a 8 year old out to plow a field if you don't need to? I believe in giving kids resposibility appropriate to their age. My 3 year old has to pick up after himself, make his bed, and help take care of his pets. As he gets older, he'll get more chores. But 99.9% of teenagers are not ready to be good parents. Period.
Posted by toninj (anonymous) on March 24, 2009 at 11:04 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I have re-read these comments by mrwho several times and am in shock at the mind set. Please tell me that I am not reading comments that are so backwards as to condone 12 and 13 year olds having babies.
We do NOT live in a time that 17 year olds, let alone 12 year olds, are ready or responsible enough to have babies. Have you been living in a closet somewhere for the last 60 years?
The last time I had a conversation with an individual who spoke like this about young teens being sexually active; it was with a child molester. As a parent I thank the school system and agencies such a "Project Teen" for being involved and getting information to the kids about healthy relationships. Our household has always been open on the subject; however, not all households are and there is a need for this type of education. We have seen 6th, 7th, and 8th graders expecting babies, they are NOT ready to be parents, I don't care what mrwho thinks!!
By the way my great-grandmother had her first child at 17, my grandmother had hers at 18, my parents had theirs at 22, and we had our first at 23. I have several photos of my children with their great-grandmother. Worked out just fine for us to wait until we were mature enough to be responsible adults; we also do not have any divorces in there!
Posted by sosinc (anonymous) on March 24, 2009 at 3:20 p.m. (Suggest removal)
One of the great things that Project T.E.E.N. accomplishes with students is not just opening the door for teenagers to talk about sex, but to talk about what a healthy relationship is. At SOS we see teens dealing with verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse in dating relationships at young ages. With programs like Project T.E.E.N. reinforcing a message of healthy choices and behaviors in relationships dating youth may get a message that they are not seeing in the media or sometimes even at home. Nationally, teens are speaking out in alarming numbers in support of Chris Brown having beaten Rhianna because she was jealous of a text message and "provoked" him. With Mrs. O'Mara in the schools she has a unique opportunity to talk to the students from a non-teacher perspective about what a healthy relationship is and what options are out there if they find themselves in an unhealthy relationship. She talks about making positive choices and making decisions based on what is right for that individual. She stresses the importance of teenagers having a dialog with their parents when it is possible.
The fact is, teenagers today find themselves in situations that 20 years ago we would not have even thought of. Kudos to Mrs. O'Mara and Project T.E.E.N. for trying to make positive impact on the children of our communities. If anyone has questions about Project T.E.E.N., I would encourage you to call and talk to Mrs. O'Mara. Look at the curriculum she uses in the schools. This is certainly a valuable program that deserves our support.
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