I HAVE issued my husband a challenge: to trade jobs with me for one week. He would do my job at home for a week and I would do his job at The Gazette for a week. From Monday at 7 a.m .to Friday at 5 p.m. we’d handle each other’s typical responsibilities.
This challenge grew out of a conversation we had recently about my ability to handle everything on the home front (kids, school, spelling tests, sack lunches, grocery shopping, meal planning, cooking, cleaning, laundry, piano lessons, piano practicing, potty training....) without losing my mind.
In typical husband-like fashion, Chris had a very “simple” solution — at least he thought so:
“Just put it on a spreadsheet,” he said. “Map out your week so you have a plan. It’s a no-brainer.”
(My husband thinks the “spreadsheet” is the answer to all of life’s problems, by the way. From potty training to a salary schedule at work, a “spreadsheet” is the secret to making all things easy, he says.)
You (mothers out there) can imagine my response:
In other words, “Are you kidding me?!”
He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that as much as I have tried to put a “system” in place at home to keep things organized, efficient and moving forward, a home doesn’t operate like a business — at least ours doesn’t.
There’s nothing like a 5-year old’s stomach flu (or a dog who salvaged a bunch of chicken bones from the trash) to deem a day marked for carpet cleaning to be pointless.
Or a bad day at school to mean mother-daughter time will take precedence over preparing chicken cordon bleu for supper. Frozen pizza will have to do.
Or a 2-year-old’s temper tantrum to cause a frazzled mother to abruptly abandon a cart full of groceries in the cereal aisle, adjacent to the Cocoa Krispies.
If my husband did my job for just one week, I’m certain he would understand why running a household isn’t as easy as he thinks.
So, recently we did a trial run. My husband sent me on a girlfriend weekend getaway. He would stay home with the three kids. He insisted I do nothing to help him get by. No made-ahead frozen meals. No clothes laid out for the kids. No activities planned. Nothing.
“I’m going to do it my way,” he said. “Out of the box!”
You (mothers out there) can imagine my response:
In other words, “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of!”
Unless he’s talking board games, Pop Tarts and Easy Mac aren’t what I consider “out of the box” parenting.
So the weekend came. I left — a little reluctantly. And at home sat one husband, three children under the age of 8 and a whole empty weekend in front of them.
I only called home five or six times to check in. And what I heard each time was shocking: laughter, giggles, more laughter, and stories of bowling, shopping, a little bit of cleaning and the “best meals ever” from a giddy little voice on the other end of the line.
The kids agreed with their dad when he finally passed the phone to each one of them.
There were no trips to the emergency room, no running through the drive-thru, not even the back-up assistance of Grandma and Grandpa who live just few miles down the road.
Two hours away, in a hotel room full of friends, I felt a little sad.
Not only was my family arguably having more fun than me that weekend, they seemed to be thriving without their mother around. In fact, I began to wonder if I should even come home.
Of course one weekend with the kids isn’t exactly the same as a whole week worth of running a home and managing children and their activities, but those two days has certainly made me reconsider my challenge.
madpoet (anonymous) says...
Don't worry Ashley, if he had to do it more often, the sparkle would wear off fast. It was all new so fun for everyone. Have him do it several more times and see how it turns out. And since he doesn't have to do it on a daily basis, he may have more patience too. It's way different when the kids have been pushing your buttons all week and you're about to come unhinged if they pull that stunt one more time.
March 13, 2009 at 2:01 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
1234567 (anonymous) says...
Why is this news?
March 13, 2009 at 3:51 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Happiness09 (anonymous) says...
It isn't. It's called an editoral.
March 13, 2009 at 4:02 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
neighbor (anonymous) says...
Yawn.....
March 13, 2009 at 4:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Bjnemp (anonymous) says...
I don't personally know Ms. Walker but she appears to be intelligent, energetic, and personable. I suggest she does switch jobs with her husband for a week or so. Perhaps she would be able to identify and correct some serious problems with our local newspaper. Sometimes it is easier to see the game from the stands than from the field. The Emporia Gazette is currently being run more like a Bushong garage sale than a credible newspaper. Go for it, Ashley. It sure couldn't hurt.
March 13, 2009 at 4:55 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
hottopics (anonymous) says...
I say switch for a week. He will be running back to work, not walking. A 'fun' weekend isn't the every day life of family. He didn't have to do all those things that I am sure you still did ahead of time before you left. You set him and the kids up for a party. I would have had fun too at your house. As a matter of fact, I'll sign up next time. I could use a stress free weekend.
Oh and I wish people would STOP bickering about everything in the paper. This was a humorous article to make husbands think. Why does the paper have to be a serious one. I'd rather read this than any more about the economy, job losses etc. We already know about it. Who wants to have it dug in every night when we could be enjoying fun and games with dad??
March 14, 2009 at 2:35 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )