The new pickup
Don Coldsmith, Syndicated Columnist
Monday, June 15, 2009
WHEN I’M out around the state, I meet a lot of people. Many of them tell me stories, which is great, because that’s my thing. No writer could make up stuff like that which really happens. Especially, I think, to people who are in the livestock business, in farming, or who have kids. Or, of course, all of the above. Teachers deal with kids, too, and have some pretty good stories.
So, I pick up stories everywhere. I can’t honestly recall where I heard this one. I jotted some notes, set them aside and they surfaced again recently. So, whoever gave me this one, thanks!
The family had just bought a brand new pickup, which is always a really exciting time. There is a period when it stands gleaming and pristine, and a source of pride for the whole family. It’s kept clean and uncluttered, even, for a little while. At least until the first scratch or ding.
Now any farm or ranch pickup is going to receive that first damage. It may be years before the next, or may not, but it’s the FIRST one that we remember. Sort of like the first scuff on a pair of new boots.
In this case, however, it was more than a scuff. It happened only days after they brought the pickup home. They were working cattle and an old cow decided that the source of all her problems was that shiny new monster over there. She did an effective job on one of the doors. Not quite enough to total the door, apparently, though maybe so. (I’m not sure of my notes, here).
In any case, the new or repaired and straightened door had to be repainted. Once again, the new pickup sat gleaming with pride out by the barn.
But there are apparently mysterious qualities about automotive paints and finishes. For one thing, they attract runaway shopping carts. There’s another factor there, too, a time factor. This attractive force begins to fade in a year or so. (Did you ever see a shopping cart hit an OLD car?)
Brand new paint on a vehicle, though, possesses the most powerful of attractive forces. Apparently, not only to shopping carts, but to horses. The family in this story looked over at the renovated pickup to see one their horses calmly chewing off the new paint.
It recalled to me an incident a lot of years ago when we first moved into our present home. The pond up behind the house had some pretty good bass and a friend asked to bring his kids out to do a little fishing. I wouldn’t be home, but that was okay, I told him.
That pond is only a stone’s throw from the house and I assumed that he’d park in the yard and walk up there. Instead he drove through the gate and parked at the pond. That was okay, of course. He’d shut the gate like a responsible guest.
A little later, as they were fishing, he glanced up to see a couple of our horses happily chewing the paint off the trunk of his new Cadillac. (I’ve never really understood why his fishing car was his new Caddy, though).
In my limited research on the subject, however, I have developed the theory that new automotive finishes attract not only shopping carts and horses, but buffalo. Some friends, a number of years ago, bought a young buffalo heifer and turned her out with their cattle.
When “Rosalie” delivered her first crossbred calf, they were understandably eager to see it. They drove out into the pasture in their brand new pickup. It was not a good move.
We saw the remains a couple of days later. When a buffalo and a pickup truck disagree, the pickup is the loser. At least, based on that incident. The vehicle was all but totaled. Both headlights, the grill, dents along the body — Major dents — radiator punctured and drained. Apparently they had been fortunate just to be able to drive it back to the house.
No one was hurt, and they gained a healthy respect for Rosalie’s right to raise her calf in any way she saw fit. She did produce many more, over the years, but the pickup was not so lucky.
See you down the road.
Author and columnist Don Coldsmith lives in Emporia.