“Friday Thoughts” is a light-hearted commentary.
THE LAWRENCE JOURNAL-WORLD reported that local farmers are not happy about a new flatulence tax that could be placed on their livestock.
Apparently belching and gaseous cows and hogs are helping destroy the ozone and the EPA could make ranchers pay $175 for every dairy cow, $87.50 for every beef cow and $20 for every hog.
Emporia has some gaseous individuals around town and I wonder whether the government is also considering putting a flatulence tax on people?
Chris Walker
Editor & Publisher
If you would like to read more about the flatulence tax see Saturday’s Gazette.
methusla (anonymous) says...
Boy, you know the country is in serious financial trouble when it is going to cost you to fart !
February 13, 2009 at 4:59 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
oh4theluvof (anonymous) says...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, every person who sprang to mind as I read this is far more offensive to the ears (or on these forums, eyes) than to the nose. LOL
February 13, 2009 at 5:29 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
seriouslyfolks (anonymous) says...
This is obviously a ploy by the makers of Beano to cash in on the farmers when they introduce their new product Bovine Beano. "Beano before grazing intact Ozone after!" This makes me sick! I bet if you do some checking Bush has a lot of stock in Beano. I am truly disgusted.
There goodoleboy I blamed Bush so you don't have to.
I wonder how crack is going to turn this into a smoking ban discusion?
I wonder how daniellaughs is going to turn this into a gay rights discusion? That one could get interesting.
February 13, 2009 at 6:13 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
LifeGoesOn (anonymous) says...
Maybe to many of goodolboys Gay (happy) Cows have been smoking crack in the bush and it causes an over abundance of gas to be passed, and as Daniellaughs , others see it as a problem
February 13, 2009 at 6:23 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
justthefacts (anonymous) says...
Everybody and everything that passes wind will have to start wearing a huge body condom to trap the flautulance and there will be deposit valves on the street and in buildings where you will relieve the pressure. Imagine the person who visited a highly spicy restaurant that overloads his condom and it explodes causing the HFRT (hazardous fart response team) to respond to do a toxic cleanup.
If it wasn't so outrageous, it would be funny.
February 13, 2009 at 8:46 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Steve_Corbin (anonymous) says...
Be carefull what you wish for Chris. Your editor in chief could be taxed for a whole lotta gas.
Note this is a lighthearted reply to your lighthearted commentary.
Steve
February 13, 2009 at 9:03 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
oh4theluvof (anonymous) says...
Oh, I can't stop laughing!!!!
February 13, 2009 at 11:22 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
josiesbar (anonymous) says...
MUST........NOT.........MAKE........CLEAN.......AIR........EMPORIA............JOKES!
CAN'T........STOP.......IT.........
CAE is so full of crap, they're gonna be in REAL trouble!
MAN! and I tried SO hard not to make a CAE joke! Sorry guys!
February 13, 2009 at 11:27 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
wyse_guy (anonymous) says...
Cracks Arrogant Emmisions = CAE
February 13, 2009 at 11:55 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
create (anonymous) says...
The only reason for this flatulence tax is because those cows and pigs have not yet learned how to pass gas and blame it on others like the poor dog, or worse yet, that mouse on a motorcycle.
February 14, 2009 at 8:27 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
seriouslyfolks (anonymous) says...
I just made up an article I read about how Bush is the CEO of Bovine Beano and "human" Beano was put on the market just as e test to see if it was OK for cows. They tested Beano on people! They tested on people!
Bovine Beano is going to be a real cash cow for Bush.
February 14, 2009 at 8:38 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
josiesbar (anonymous) says...
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!
This has nothing to do with anything in this article, its just fun to post sometimes.
February 14, 2009 at 10:01 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
seriouslyfolks (anonymous) says...
Matt
I'm glad you saw my subtle reference to Soylent Green.
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!
That really is fun to post and even more fun to say and annoy my wife with.
February 14, 2009 at 11:01 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
josiesbar (anonymous) says...
seriously,
Haha, that's hilarious! I can see that conversation now.
"Hey baby, Happy Valentines day! Did I forget to mention how much I love you? No? Did I forget to tel you that... SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE! "
Haha, that'd be awesome!
February 14, 2009 at 1:50 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
seriouslyfolks (anonymous) says...
I just tried that and it didn't end well.
February 14, 2009 at 1:55 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )