Sometimes you intend to pat someone on the back and end up thumping them on the head instead.
A friend in law enforcement this week remarked on a “bashing” I’d given law-enforcement officers in an editorial about domestic battery. The piece followed on the heels of the arrest of J. Kraig Kahler, who is accused of capital murder in the killings of his ex-wife, their two daughters, and his ex-wife’s grandmother at the elderly woman’s home in Burlingame.
I’d bashed cops? No, no, I assured him; the editorial had been complimentary to law enforcement:
“Psychiatrists, court officials and – most of all – law enforcement officers need to sit down and decide what degree of damage is too much to tolerate and what signs bode further episodes of violence,” it said.
If anyone was bashed, it was the psychiatrists and court officials. My friend saw it differently.
The fact of the matter is this: In a domestic violence situation and almost any other on-the-spot police action, it is law enforcement officers who see the worst of the sequence, from offense through trial, if it happens.
It is law enforcement officers who calm the raging tempers or disarm the person waving a weapon and threatening to harm anyone who intervenes. Some, perhaps like Kahler, are deluded enough to believe they have a right to handle their domestic problems any way they see fit. They’re often irrational and don’t mind directing their anger at the officers carting them off to jail.
That’s the abuser the officers see.
Court officials and psychiatrists see the calmer, classier versions – dressed neatly, yes-siring and yes-ma’aming their way through the system toward probation or a minimal sentence. Abusers know how to answer and how to behave when they have to. They are magnificent manipulators. They cloak themselves in remorse and convince authorities and spouses that they will do better.
Law enforcement, however, drives away from domestic disputes with a pretty good handle on whether they’re going to get another call involving the same people. They worry about that “next time” because they recognize crazed, irrational anger when they see it.
Unfortunately, once they’ve arrested an abuser and turned the case over for prosecution, they’ve fulfilled their role. They don’t make the laws; they only enforce them.
So, if there’s to be any changes made in domestic battery laws to bring in mandatory jail time and counseling that might prevent further abuse, the on-the-ground law enforcement officers will have the most-pertinent information to contribute.
They need the point position on this one because they’re likely the only ones who can see what’s coming the next time.
I’d be willing to bet that police officers in Weatherford, Texas, weren’t at all surprised at the eventual resolution of the Kahler’s domestic abuse calls in Texas that led to so many deaths on Thanksgiving weekend in Osage County.
— Bobbi Mlynar
Reporter
Comments
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spectator (anonymous) says...
On target again, Bobbi. Good job.
December 22, 2009 at 4:57 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
madpoet (anonymous) says...
It is unfortunate that the officers' hands are tied. The case much closer to home is a good example of the system failing. When a couple constantly fought and the woman was ordered to stay away from the man yet continued to see him, it's no big surprise it ended in tragedy. How sad the restraining order wasn't worth the paper it was printed on. One young man may still be alive and one young woman not in jail for murder right now if the order was better enforced.
December 23, 2009 at 9:17 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
FarmRaised (anonymous) says...
It's true that a tragedy could have been prevented, madpoet...but, shouldn't the couple have adhered to the order? Why on earth would you keep coming back for more or allow the other to come back and dish out more. The police and the court system can only do so much. In the end, we all need to be held accountable for our own actions and act accordingly.
December 23, 2009 at 9:29 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
seriouslyfolks (anonymous) says...
I talk with a few officers here in town quite often and I am amazed at how they can keep doing what they do. The abuse they have to put up with from people is unbelievable. They are out there keeping the peace for us, so we can carry out our daily lives in a safe community but unfortunately some see them as just a bunch of killjoys out to stop them from having their little fun. I know LEOs are only human and make mistakes but I don't think I would be able to handle the situations they do nearly as calmly as they usually do. Thank you LEOs.
R.
December 23, 2009 at 9:49 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
create (anonymous) says...
Excellent article, Bobbi. I never took away any cop bashing from the original you wrote.
Court appointed psychologists and the like are the ones who need to learn not to be manipulated by abusers, male or female, who are expert at it. Many times, their decisions to place the batterer back in the home lead to dire results.
seriously, you're right on target too. The sad truth is that many officers and court services personnel get their hours or jobs cut because of state funding cuts. Those are the cuts that hurt deep in a community. Better to cut all the salaries of legislators than one cop or one court services person. These people do so much for so little.
December 23, 2009 at 10:08 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
madpoet (anonymous) says...
I blame the couple for staying in an abusive relationship. But the court knew their history and it's a shame more couldn't have been done. If he'd just not let her in that day...Hindsight is 20/20 though.
December 23, 2009 at 11:02 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )