IT WAS A Kodak moment that I’d about decided I’d never see.
It was Wednesday morning and both Alex and Luke were up early for before-school football practice. They had to leave by 6:20 to pick up a couple of other players, but it was 6:10 and they had some time.
I was trying to get out the door for work and was scrambling around gathering all I needed. I passed Luke at the kitchen counter pouring a bowl of cereal. A second bowl was on the counter, which Luke said was Alex’s, although my eldest was nowhere to be seen.
After a quick dash back to the bedroom for something I’d forgotten, I headed back through the kitchen to leave. There were Luke and Alex seated across from each other, eating their cereal and talking about football and their upcoming day.
No big deal, but here’s the Kodak connection. Normal operating procedure would call for eating the cereal in the living room or in front of a computer. Certainly not in the same room or even sharing the dining table. And talking — without raised voices, sarcastic tones or mumbled insults. There have been plenty of times that I’ve believed my sons don’t know how to talk to each other any other way.
Perhaps they were still half-asleep, but I still took comfort in what I’d glimpsed because I’d worried for years that my two oldest sons would never get along.
Alex, it seems to me, has long resented Luke’s place in his life. Alex doesn’t seem to blame Greg and I for having a second child; rather, he blames Luke for having the audacity to take away his “only child” status. My big sister — there were only the two of us — tells me Alex’s attitude is normal.
I find it curious, however, that Alex has rarely resented Aaron’s arrival. I attribute part of that to already being used to not being an only by the time Aaron arrived two years after Luke. And Alex and Aaron seem to be wired the same — similar temperaments and interests. Unfortunately, this often results in the two of them ganging up on Luke, the middle child.
It’s a situation I don’t understand. My sister and I had it easy. In my world, she was the bossy big sister and I was the cute baby of the family. In her world, however, I was the twerp. I’ve never decided what her definition of herself was.
I’ve talked to other parents of three and have discovered that it’s common for a two-against-one situation to develop, and, yes, it does change over time.
Although in the Larson house, it’s often No. 1 and 3 against 2, when Alex went away for a week at camp, Aaron (No. 3) and Luke got along just fine. And occasionally, they gang upon Alex, or Alex and Luke gang up on Aaron.
Still, I worried as the start of school drew near. For two years, Alex was the only Larson boy at Northern Heights. But this year, Luke is a freshman, and I’d worried that Alex would treat Luke at school the way he treats him at home.
During the summer, Greg and I took many opportunities to discuss the upcoming school year. And the boys already got into the swing of things through summer football weights and conditioning. It was nice to have a third driver in the family, a situation that forced Luke and Alex to cooperate with each other.
During dinner Thursday, I got a glimpse into their high school world. We were discussing that the tables would turn in two years and Luke would be the junior when Aaron is a freshman.
“I’ll treat Aaron like Alex treats me,” Luke said.
“How does Alex treat you?” I asked.
Alex jumped in with the answer: “I ignore him — completely.”
I guess that goes under the heading “Whatever Works.”
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