The Emporia Gazette

May 28, 2012

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Damon Leiss

Age : 47

Occupation: Instructor, Department of Health, Physical Education and Recreation. Part-time football coach at Northern Heights. Faculty representative for Fellowship of Christian Athletes

How are you doing, Emporia? Some weeks back I gave you a challenge goal. Remember it?

The goal was to make three people smile, and it could be any three. The reason for this was much like a lot of things. It has been found that happiness can be passed much like a contagious laugh, and it starts with a smile. Kind of makes one feel good.

Let me ask you a question? Did any of you try to make that person who irritated you smile? You know the one that did something that really ticked you off. And if not, why not? Was it because of that little word called a “GRUDGE”?

Oh my, do we hold grudges? Sure we do, but why? Is there some mystical place that keeps score? Are you going to try to even the score? And if you do, what will it serve? Do you get something, like a teddy bear?

I know you’re going to say peace of mind, right? Problem is, you’re dwelling on it and it is eating you alive. Trust me, the person who did whatever isn’t thinking about you. So why don’t you forgive the person?

Dr. Katherine M. Piderman defined forgiveness as “a decision to let go of resentments and thoughts of revenge. Forgiveness is the act of untying yourself from thoughts and feelings that bind you to the offense committed against you. This can reduce the power these feelings otherwise have over you, so that you can a live freer and happier life in the present. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.”

Now, keep in mind, forgiving is not the same as forgetting. These are two different things; you can forgive the person without excusing the act, according to Dr. Piderman.

Why is this important you ask? Why do you have to forgive that slug?

This is why: studies have shown that being unforgiving and holding grudges results in long-term health problems. Read what the Mayo Clinic lists as the benefits of letting go of a grudge and forgiving:

• Lower blood pressure

• Stress reduction

• Less hostility

• Better anger management skills

• Lower heart rate

• Lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse

• Fewer depression symptoms

• Fewer anxiety symptoms

• Reduction in chronic pain

• More friendships

• Healthier relationships

• Greater religious or spiritual well-being

• Improved psychological well-being

This leads me to your next challenge goal; and this is a really hard one, but one that will improve your life if you can achieve it.

Are you ready?

Forgive everyone of everything.

I know, you’re thinking to yourself, right Leiss.

Here is a Web site that I used to research this article. It can help. It is titled “Forgiveness: How to let go of grudges and bitterness.” It can be found at: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/forgiveness/MH00131

Another good site is “How to Let Go of Grudges” found at : http://www.ehow.com/how_4542990_let-grudges.html

And there are several more, just Google “Grudges.”

Well, there it is, and this is a huge challenge, Emporia. And I know, I have tried and I still struggle myself, but I am getting better. As I get better, so does my health.

If you try, it just might help improve your health, too.

• Shape Up, Emporia! is a weekly fitness and health column aimed at readers of all ages to get off the couch and get into shape. Each week will feature a fitness, health or nutrition professional from around the area who will share some friendly tips on how to improve your overall health. Our goal is to make getting in shape fun and easy to fit into your existing lifestyle and daily routine.