The Emporia Gazette

February 13, 2012

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In a presentation brought to Emporia by SOS, Denise Brown, sister of Nicole Brown Simpson, said she didn’t learn about domestic violence until it was too late.

Brown spoke to an audience at the Granada Theatre Monday evening. The event was held to raise awareness about SOS, which provides many services to Emporia and the surrounding area including a shelter for domestic violence victims, child exchange and visitation center and a child advocacy center.

Before Brown’s talk, the Emporia High School Thespians performed a production of the play “dont u luv me?” by Linda Daugherty. The performances in Emporia on April 20 and 25 were the first performance of the production, which focuses on teen dating violence, in the United States. The production raised $500 for SOS.

On June 12, 1994, Denise Brown’s sister, Nicole, was murdered after suffering years of domestic violence. That was the day Brown lost her best friend. That was the day she lost her sister. The two were fewer than two years apart.

“We told each other everything,” Brown said.

Everything except the domestic violence Simpson was going through. They did not talk about the beatings. They did not talk about the yelling. They did not talk about the put-downs. They did not talk about domestic violence.

Denise Brown found out about these things after her sister was killed. She found out through the diaries Simpson left behind.

Brown said she was in denial. She had never heard of the words “domestic violence” before.

“I was the first one to say no, my sister is not a battered woman,” Brown said. “I had no idea that even existed.”

Brown said she had no idea the concept even existed because she and her sisters were not raised in that type of household.

“We never even heard our parents raise their voices to each other,” Brown said.

After her sister’s death, Brown became a spokesperson for domestic violence awareness, but it’s not her sister’s death that fuels her.

“You know what fuels me is the stories that I heard today,” Brown said, adding that she spent some time talking to local domestic violence survivors in Emporia. “Their stories are what keeps me going. Nicole, she is no longer with us. She was not able to tell me her story. I had to read her story. Actually it’s the stories of the people that are in the situations right now and trying to get through it ... that’s what keeps me going.”

Brown spent the day in Emporia Monday visiting the programs that SOS offers.

“I was so impressed,” she said. “The kind of individual attention they give victims either at the shelter or outreach was real impressive too.”

Brown’s mission is awareness, she said, and community awareness on a local level.

“I’ve had people come up to me and say they didn’t even know they had a shelter,” Brown said.

Brown commented on being asked about how she didn’t know about the violence her sister was going through.

“There’s that why question,” she said. “Why did she stay? Why didn’t I know? Why didn’t she talk to me? Now I’m going to ask you a question. Why do they hit? Why do they batter? Let’s turn that mindset around. Why do they manipulate? Why do they put you down? It’s that whole mindset and let’s turn it around on the perpetrators. Let’s turn it around on the batterer.”

During her presentation, Brown talked about programs that are available around the United States to raise awareness about domestic violence and help prevent domestic violence. Some of the programs include donated cell phones for victims. The cell phones are programmed to call 911 in an emergency. Another program is the Safe Haven program where businesses display stickers that state they are a safe haven, meaning people can use the phone at the business to call in an emergency. Brown also talked about the Hands are Not for Hitting program, in which children trace their hand prints, color it and take a pledge not to hit or verbally abuse another person.

Brown said it’s time for people to start having respect for one another.

“Why don’t we start having respect to one another as opposed to hitting,” she said. “As opposed to manipulating. As opposed to controlling. As opposed to any of that. In a perfect world, why can’t we just get along.

“You sit there in society today we sit there and we look at all the things that are happening in our world and you break it down and you see these things that are happening to little kids all the way up to a war in Iraq and Afghanistan. These victims of DV are actually living that war at home. It’s just got to stop. The violence in general has got to stop. That’s why I try to educate people and try to talk to people and let them know that there’s that power and control that needs to be broken.”