First-hand experience
Callie Agler
Friday, April 24, 2009
FOR THE PAST 13 years, Denise Brown has been speaking out about the issue of domestic violence. This international epidemic needs to be stopped. Denise made a promise to her sister Nicole Brown-Simpson so that she would not have died in vain. To keep this promise, she has dedicated her energies to making our communities safer through education and awareness , sharing programs that work, help pass legislation, and challenging us all to stand up for what is right.
My hope is that our community will attend her presentation Monday night at the Granada Theatre and awareness will be raised that domestic violence affects this community, and give us all tools on how we can do better, be better and help those in need.
You may read this and ask, “How does this affect me?” You realize that this happens to other people, but you have not personally experienced it in your life. Here is an example of how domestic violence affects this community.
There is a small family, mom, dad, and two little boys. The mom and dad fought last night and dad hit mom. Both boys saw and heard this happen. One boy cries himself to sleep, the other can’t shut his mind down, and he has a hard time falling asleep.
One boy goes to school the next morning and fails a test that his teacher knows he should have passed. He is a smart young man and she wonders why he isn’t putting forth the effort. Is there something that she is doing wrong as a teacher? She gets frustrated. It affects her. She complains to her friends, other teachers, and husband. It affects them.
The other boy gets in an argument on the play ground the next day. He yells at other children and hits them. This is all he knows. This is how he has been raised to deal with confrontation. Maybe it was your son or daughter that got hit. You get mad at the boy, at his parents, and teacher for allowing it to happen. You complain to your husband that night at dinner ... it affected you.
The mother of those two boys calls in sick to work the next morning. She can’t hide the bruises on her face. Her employer is frustrated with her. He doesn’t understand why a woman with so much promise is just wasting it. Her coworker is mad at her — it’s the third time this month that she has had to carry her work load. Little do they know that she would rather be at work, she loves her job. She feels safe at work.
You may read this and say, “Yes, that’s nice but how does it affect this community?”
Domestic violence affected this community two years ago. One of your community leaders was absent for a few meetings. Most could have assumed it was laziness, maybe he forgot about the meetings. He had to travel to his family member’s side to help with a domestic disturbance situation. His employer was affected. His family was affected. His community was affected.
My dad, Bob Agler, had to travel to Branson, Mo., to help me. I was in a violent, abusive marriage. He came to counsel and support me. He missed city commission meetings, Rotary meetings, work, church, etc.
Domestic violence does affect this community — our community.
Domestic violence knows no race, status, location, gender or age.
I am proud to say that I am a survivor of domestic violence. And my life is better than it has ever been. I have been blessed with a wonderful family, precious little girl and a recent engagement to an amazing man. God is good!
Please join me in attending the Denise Brown presentation on at 7:30 p.m. Monday at the Granada Theatre. Support your community and help raise awareness. Knowledge is Power!
sosinc (anonymous) says...
Callie, you are an inspiration. Thank you for speaking out about your experience. Domestic abuse truly knows no race, gender, or socio-economic status. We never know who is experiencing abuse - thank you for opening the door for others to step forward and talk about it. Abuse is not just physical - it it about one person using power and control over another. Anyone needing help can call SOS at 342-1870 in Emporia or 800-825-1295 in the outlying areas of Chase, Coffey, Greenwood, Lyon, Morris, or Osage counties.
April 24, 2009 at 1:15 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
jewely33 (anonymous) says...
Domestic Violence does not discriminate. It can happen to anyone, anywhere, at anytime. I am proud of Callie for being open and sharing her story. I am proud of our community for supporting Denise Brown and her pursuit to bring awareness to the world about domestic violence. KUDOS to the SOS.
April 24, 2009 at 1:49 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
create (anonymous) says...
God bless you, Callie. What a courageous woman you are for coming forward and admitting to having been abused; many prefer to hide it.
What a sensible woman you are for writing this commentary and reminding us how we are all affected by the actions of cowards like those who abuse their wives.
What a good man your father is for supporting you and recognizing that you needed not only to get home, but to get help too.
What an important message this is. Thank you.
Men who batter are useless cowards, and they should be punished for the victimizing they do. I also think their names should be publicized; it's the one thing they will try to avoid at all cost. Doctors? Businessmen?
It is a good idea to strengthen women by arming them with information, and teaching them how to find the courage and wherewithall to leave those cowards and never ever return no matter how many worthless promises are made.
Everyone needs to attend the Denise Brown lecture.
Please donate to SOS.
April 25, 2009 at 8:03 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
neighbor (anonymous) says...
I realize it is much more common for male to female abuse(maybe because men will rarely call and file complaints?), but it needs to be said that it's not always the woman who is the victim, there are alot of male victims too.
I believe in hearing both sides of the story before passing judgement, we've only heard one side of this one. .
April 25, 2009 at 5:54 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
byoung1 (anonymous) says...
Callie, I am proud of you for being able to speak publicly about your experience. It took me 17 years before I could do so. Only my closest family and friends knew. Thanks to volunteering with a domestic violence support organization, I was able to step forward without embarrassment and help others. Your article will touch so many lives....BRAVO! I am proud to be your Aunt Bev.
April 26, 2009 at 4:18 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )