Holiday spirits
Gary Smith, Emporia Police Chief
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
WEEZER MCNURG crawled into his cold bed. “Some friends”, he thought.
OK, he drank more than normal at the holiday party tonight. But that was no reason to stuff him into a cab and send him home. What did someone call him? Obnoxious? “Humbug!”
As McNurg tossed in bed, he heard a familiar sound: an empty beer can rolling across the floor: but he didn’t drop one did he? Just as he decided it wasn’t worth the effort, there was a burst of light; like that time he shorted out the toaster after downing that 12-pack. But he wasn’t in the kitchen…he was in bed; wasn’t he?
As his impaired brain strained for a bearing, he heard a voice.
“Weezer McNurg! Your disregard for your safety and that of others has brought me here tonight!”
Hearing and seeing things wasn’t anything new for McNurg after a “few” but this one knew his name.
“Whooissit?” he slurred.
“It’s the spirit of parties past” the voice said.
Talking back to the voice McNurg asked: “Whaddayawant?” “Whereareya?” he slobbered as he tried to get his watery eyes to focus.
As McNurg looked down on the floor: he saw a beer can and this one was talking to him. McNurg looked hard and figured it was easier to go with the flow than try to get his alcohol-soaked brain to rationalize what he saw. “Ok” said McNurg “whadda ya want” managing to get out at least three words that time. After all, he didn’t want to be outclassed by a beer can….
Well, you can guess what happened. McNurg was visited by several spirits but not the kind you might think. The spirit of the party past was an empty can of beer: one that represented McNurg’s lack of control in front of his coworkers.
The next spirit was a wine bottle … parties of the present. That subtle lie McNurg uses to fool himself into believing he can drink more wine because it isn’t “hard liquor.”
Finally, McNurg was visited by the spirit of whiskey who showed him the future that would be if he didn’t change. He saw two cars on a lonely highway. There were people in one car and none of them were moving. He was in the other: trapped, yelling for help but nobody answered. No one answered because no one put McNurg in a cab that night. People died because McNurg pulled the trigger. He was a drunk driver.
Maybe you see a little of McNurg in yourself. Maybe you know someone like McNurg. Either way, don’t let McNurg drive drunk. This holiday season, be the voice of reason for McNurg. The only sure cure for sobering up is time. In some cases nine to ten hours of time. If you are going to host a party, monitor alcohol intake, provide food, and non-alcoholic beverages. Make arrangements for transportation for those who should not drive.
McNurg might not appreciate it, but the rest of us will.
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