It began simply enough with a question from Aaron.
“Where are we going to put the TV in the new house, Mom?” he asked as we drove to the grocery store.
Notice that Aaron asked me, not his dad, because I have all power over the new house. Greg agreed early on that I plan the house, he plans the outbuilding.
“In the basement,” I told Aaron.
“No, the TV in the living room,” Luke chimed in.
“Well, I’d like to get a flat screen and put it above the fireplace.”
“Dad doesn’t want that, do you, Dad?” Aaron asked.
OK, I only think I have all power over the house.
Still, I have power enough to drop the next bombshell.
“I don’t think we need a TV upstairs,” I explained. “You guys will spend your time in the basement.”
That fell like a lead balloon, so I compromised.
“OK, we’ll put a TV upstairs for me to watch Lifetime movies while all you guys watch downstairs.”
“Thank goodness,” Greg said, proving that he wasn’t tuning out all life around him — hard to do in the confines of a minivan.
This was his editorial comment about the Lifetime channel, which he will watch only when it shows “Dances With Wolves.”
“What are Lifetime movies?” Aaron wanted to know.
“Chick flicks,” I said.
“Affliction movies,” Greg said at the same time.
Luke translated: “Crying, flowers, kissing, romance.”
By this time, we’d pulled into the grocery store parking lot. Luke started asking Greg about some decorations painted on a truck in the parking lot. As we walked to the store entrance, I listened with half an ear to their conversation as Greg and the two boys walked a respectful three feet behind me.
“It’s estrogenic,” Luke said.
That stopped me in my tracks.
“It’s my new word,” Luke explained.
For the record, Luke put the emphasis on the third syllable of his new word — es-troh-GEN-ick.
Apparently, it refers to anything he deems too girly for real guys. That’s my definition, but it seems to fit.
Luke has high hopes for his word.
“I’m going to get it in the dictionary,” he said. “After all, EVOO is in there.”
He’s right. The Oxford American Dictionaries added EVOO to the list of new words in 2006. It’s the abbreviation for extra-virgin olive oil popularized by Food Network host Rachael Ray.
Luke just might be onto something. From this moment on, in honor of me being outnumbered 4 to 1, I’m going to say that I live in a testosteronic house.
Testosteronic — an adjective describing any behavior, conversation or miscellaneous action that causes women to run screaming from the room in search of Lifetime movies.