The Emporia Gazette

May 27, 2012

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Prevent Child Abuse Month is observed in April of each year. This article is the first of a two-part series on the topic of child abuse, the effects of child abuse, and means by which it can be prevented. Part Two will be presented in next month’s article.

“Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see,” according to John W. Whitehead. They are the thumbprint that parents leave on the future. While they make up only a fraction of the population, they comprise 100 percent of our hope for what is yet to come.

Children are also our most defenseless and innocent victims of violence in our society. And the sad fact is that they are most often the victims of those whom they must trust completely for their care and nurturance; their parent or parents. There is no escape. There is no sanctuary. These innocents live each and every day with the reality of fear and pain.

Historically, children have been considered property. While children’s legal rights to protection under the law have improved significantly in the past 100 years, the national statistics for child abuse are staggering.

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, there were “an estimated 1,490 child fatalities in the year 2004. This translates to a rate of 2.03 children per 100,000 children in the general population.” These figures reflect only those children whose deaths were attributed to abuse or neglect. 

The report further states that “many researchers and practitioners believe child fatalities due to abuse and neglect are still underreported. Studies in Colorado and North Carolina have estimated that as many as 50 to 60 percent of child deaths resulting from abuse or neglect are not recorded as such.” And these figures do not include those children who are “only” injured, either physically, emotionally, or sexually.

To make these figures meaningful, one needs to realize that 1,490 child fatalities means that every day of 2004 there were 4 children who died as a result of child abuse or neglect. Every day. Four children died. 

We each have a responsibility to these innocent and defenseless souls. In fact, we have more than one responsibility — we have several. 

First and foremost, we have the responsibility to make certain that we are not causing damage to our own children either physically or emotionally. We have the responsibility to learn effective and non-violent parenting and discipline techniques. 

The belief that abuse will never happen to anyone in our own family is one of the reasons that abuse is passed down from generation to generation. Our parents are our first teachers and are our models for learning how to parent our own children.

What your parent did is generally what you will do when you have children. This is wonderful if you have great parents, but if your parents were abusive to you, a red flag should go up. We must have the courage to look within ourselves and honestly evaluate how we treat our own children. Generational abuse can be stopped. The answer is in learning and applying good parenting techniques to raising your children.

Classes are available to teach the skills that are needed to lovingly guide your children without the use of violence. Our community has many resources by which anyone, no matter their financial situation, can receive training. One has but to call. Parenting classes are not only for abusive parents. They are for anyone who would like to be a better parent. What a wonderful gift to give to your children.

A second responsibility we have is to be able to recognize the signs of abuse in children so that if a child is in need of help, we can be of assistance to them. The Kansas Department of Social and Rehabilitation Services (SRS) lists these warning signs:

• nervousness around adults

• aggression toward adults or other children

• sudden or dramatic changes in personality

• frequent or unexplained bruises or injuries

• low self-esteem, and poor hygiene

Just as children show signs of being abused or neglected, adults exhibit behaviors that can lead to child abuse and neglect. Some of the behaviors include:

• difficulty in controlling anger or stress

• abuse of alcohol or drugs

• lack of interest in the care or nourishment of their children

• not coping with physical or mental health issues within the family

SRS reminds Kansans that preventing child abuse is everyone’s job. If a person suspects that a child is being abused or neglected, they should report it to their local SRS office, or law enforcement, or call the SRS 24-hour, toll-free phone number at (800) 922-5330.

Laws to protect children’s physical and emotional well-being can be found at www.accesskansas.org.

Finally, the courage that is required of an abused child to report abuse deserves the respect of any adult. We have the responsibility to listen to any child who says that bad things are happening to them.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.” What grade will we receive on our test?

F This column is provided by the Mental Health Center of East Central Kansas which serves the citizens of Chase, Coffey, Greenwood, Lyon, Morris, Osage, and Wabaunsee counties. For more information on this or other column topics, to give suggestions for future columns, or to request a speaker for your club or organization, please contact Bev Cress at 343-2211 Ext. 6217.