OK, so the NCAA bracket’s sitting on your desk and you’re procrastinating and you wouldn’t know Joakim Noah if he came up and slapped you on the back.
Have no fear. Here are a few tips to help you win that office pool bracket — and also have bragging rights over your friends for the next three weeks.
Pick high seeds for the Final Four. Sure, there have been tons of upsets in recent tournaments, and no No. 1 seeds made the Final Four last year.
That won’t happen this year.
You’ll always get better odds if you pick all No. 1s and 2s for the Final Four. Picking one surprise is OK, but beyond that, you won’t get far by going crazy and putting Long Beach State in the National Semifinals.
Having said that....
Don’t pick Kansas in the Final Four. It hurts me to say this, but let’s think about it for a second.
Most likely the pool you are in is in Kansas. There are many Jayhawk fans in Kansas.
So let’s say you pick ol’ KU to win the National Championship. The problem is, you haven’t gained ground on anyone. Eighty percent of the people in the bracket have picked with their heart just like you have.
Here are the facts: Kansas has one player on its roster (reserve Jeremy Case) with an NCAA Tournament victory. The Jayhawks have lost two consecutive first-round games. In the Elite Eight, they will have to face UCLA — which would have been a No. 1 seed last week — in San Jose, Calif.
Go against your heart. Don’t pick KU in the Final Four.
Don’t, and I mean don’t, pick Duke to go far in your bracket. Because the Blue Devils are loved by ESPN and Dick Vitale, they received a higher seed than they deserved. This is not a good team.
Put Florida in your Final Four. The tournament committee bowed down to the Gators, giving them (by far) the easiest road to the Final Four. They should follow that path nicely.
Advance Texas A&M to at least the Elite Eight. Great team, with an even greater clutch player in Acie Law.
Push Nevada at least to the Sweet 16. Nick Fazekas — the best player you’ve never heard of — should lead the Wolfpack to an upset over No. 2 Memphis in round two.
And, finally, don’t do any research. I have fallen into this trap many times. If you’re unsure on a game, take a guess, pick your favorite mascot, flip Quarter George.
Every year, bracket pools seem to be won by those who know almost nothing about the games. Don’t be afraid to be blindly lucky every once in awhile.
A few years back, one of my friends picked Texas and Xavier to meet in the Sweet 16 because “they both had Xs in their names.” I made fun of him mercilessly.
Until Texas and Xavier met in the Sweet 16.
Don’t be afraid to be that guy.