Diana Wilhite always told her kids there was nothing they couldn’t do. Now they’ve proved her right.
Daughter Jolie Frank Chance, 27, is a fourth-year medical student at Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences and soon will begin her residency in obstetrics.
Son Logan Frank, 25, is a first-year medical student at the University of Missouri.
Son Garett Frank, 22, has just been accepted as a medical student at University of Kansas School of Medicine.
(Coincidentally, Chance is married to a medical student and her brothers are dating medical students.)
“They just really exceeded my expectations,” Wilhite said. “I knew they could do it. I’m just glad that they took that initiative to go ahead and do it. ... All three of them are very motivated kids.”
The future wasn’t as certain 21 years ago, when Wilhite and the children’s father divorced. Wilhite decided to move to Emporia, primarily based on the strength of Emporia State University’s Teachers College and her desire to become a teacher; her sister also lived here.
Wilhite earlier had graduated from junior college and knew that two or three more years of classes and some tight financial times lay in front of her before she could begin working.
“I knew that would be the one job I could have that I could spend the most time with my kids,” she said. “It turned out it was a good choice for me.”
In the interim, however, life wasn’t easy. The boys, initially were not in school and spent many hours in day care; Jolie was in school most of the time, so day care expenses for her were less.
“We went through a lot of times I don’t imagine they remember being difficult,” she said. “There were a lot of struggle-times there but we had a lot of fun. I don’t think the kids realized they didn’t have what other kids had.”
The family lived in student housing until Wilhite graduated.
“There are a lot of things I couldn’t have done without help from the services here,” Wilhite said. “SRS helped with day care.”
Wilhite and her three children appear to be proof that public assistance need not be an expense; sometimes it’s an investment in the future.
Wilhite graduated from ESU in December 1988 and became a teacher in the North Lyon County School district, where she taught for 16 years. She now teaches computers in the Emporia district.
Her children attended classes in North Lyon County — Garett also attended school in the Southern district for a time — and all graduated from Northern Heights High School. Along the way, Wilhite reiterated her confidence in them.
“I guess we were never told we ‘couldn’t,’ ” Chance said. “It was never ever contemplated that there was anything we couldn’t do. We came here with nothing. ... There is an attitude that you take charge of your life.”
Until they were old enough to do that, however, Wilhite provided a guiding force and an example for the children. She always wanted to know where they were, what they were doing, and when they’d be home.
“I never let them go just wherever they wanted to,” Wilhite said.
Chance elaborated, “She never didn’t let us do stuff. She just wanted to know what we were doing.”
Wilhite wasn’t a harsh mother, Chance said.
“She wasn’t one of those parents who blew up and had to apologize later,” Chance said. “She always knew the answer, was always there, cool and calm.”
Logan Frank said that their mother taught them responsibility, to themselves and each other, and to have faith in themselves instead of relying on others to come through.
“Believing you can is more important,” Logan Frank said.
Garett Frank explained that they had been taught that if they wanted something, they should get it — for themselves. Their mother set the example for them by working “really, really hard for her kids,” Garett Frank said.
“I never thought anything should be handed to me,” he said.
That sense of responsibility allowed them to find their own solutions for the extensive and expensive costs associated with attending college and medical school. All of them have worked to pay their expenses, in addition to the scholarships they received. Chance eked through without using student loans; Garett and Logan Frank said their student loans are accumulating, even with the work and scholarships.
All three of them participated in sports during their undergraduate years. Chance was a member of the rowing team at Wichita State University, and the boys both ran track. Logan ran for Fort Hays State and Garett, who ran in a Boston Marathon last year, ran for ESU.
Chance and her husband are parents of a two-year-old, Landon.
“Nobody can say we were not involved,” Chance said, drawing laughs from the family.
Intermingled among the parenting and the teaching, there was laughter — then and now. It is one of the reasons the three come home as often as possible. The siblings tease their mother and she teases them.
They’re all going into geriatrics, they claimed, so they can see their mother and stepfather, Bob Wilhite, more often. “Or psychiatry,” someone suggested, drawing heartier laughs.
Diana Wilhite credits her husband for the help he gave with the children.
“My husband is wonderful,” she said. “He’s done a lot to help me and help the kids. But my number one goal when my kids were growing up was my kids.”
Wilhite’s philosophy on child-rearing is not, and never has been, a secret.
“All kids simply need to know that they can do it. I think they all need to know that something is expected of them, and it pays off,” Wilhite said. “I’m just so darned proud of those kids.”