I HAD BEEN calling Heather to see if she felt well enough to come to church — she didn’t — when I happened to glance down at the desk calendar.
And blinked.
“Heather, did you know next Sunday is Johnny Appleseed Day?” I asked. Heather is a descendant of the tree-planting missionary, who was born John Chapman.
“Really?”
“No kidding.” I looked a little closer. “And it looks like it’s also the start of National Poison Prevention Week.”
“Makes you wonder what’s in the seeds, doesn’t it?”
We laughed. All at once, a slow start to the day had gotten a little brighter.
Odd holidays are good for that.
Holidays always seemed like a straightforward business when we were kids. Sometimes you got stuff, like on Christmas, Easter and Halloween. Sometimes you made stuff, like hearts on Valentine’s Day or palm-print turkeys on Thanksgiving. And every July you got to watch people blow stuff up. Pretty simple.
Then we got older. New holidays started showing up in our awareness. Martin Luther King Day. Veterans Day. Even, eventually, Election Day. Holidays in general became less about the stuff (though that was always nice) and more about deeper meanings.
And then, when some of us got old enough to start watching Congress, we learned that even deeper meanings can go out the window. Commemorative days, weeks and months get passed out like candy, to everyone from the Red Cross down to George B. Fensetermayer (if he sent in his donation check this year). Some were in honor of worthy causes, but most seemed destined for obscurity except among three congressmen and a handful of lobbyists.
It’s a little depressing. In fact, a steady diet of Official Holidays is almost enough to put me off holidays all together.
And then I look at the odd ones.
I’m never too sure where the truly bizarre holidays come from. Some obviously came out of Congress, probably at about 2 a.m. The rest? Maybe college campuses. Maybe bored calendar-makers. Maybe aliens left them, for all I know.
But I like them. They make life a little more fun. And heaven knows we can use all the fun we can get these days.
Be honest. Isn’t your life a little richer for knowing that March 22 is National Goof Off Day? Although, now that I think about it, maybe it should have been right before March 9 -- Panic Day.
Have a hankering to sound like Captain Blood? Arr, then it’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day, you’ll be wantin’, matey. Keep yer weather-eye out fer it on Sep. 19 or prepare to walk th’ plank.
Did you make one mistake too many in preparing your tax return? Be glad that April 15 is also Rubber Eraser Day. And then smile at the fact that National Honesty Day isn’t until April 30.
Silly? Of course. That’s the point. Days like this have no purpose except to make you smile for a second. But is that really such a bad purpose?
You don’t have to decide right away. After all, this is National Procrastination Week.
They would have held it in February, but you know how these things go.