WITH APOLOGIES to Robert Fulghum, everything I never really needed to know, I learned in the fourth grade.
OK, I guess long division and times tables were pretty important. And “A Wrinkle In Time” was fun to read. But that still left massive chunks of brain cells to be taken over by the most unnecessary lessons of all: State Things.
You know what I’m talking about. Sometime back in history, the Department of Really Unimportant Stuff decided that every state needed a bird, a flower, a favorite episode of “American Idol” and so on. Furthermore, that department decreed that no one would be allowed to leave elementary school without being able to recite all of it.
So to this day, I may not be able to remember how to do a geometric proof, but by jingo, I can tell you that the lark bunting is the state bird of Colorado! In fact, I can still run down the rest of the list:
State tree: the blue spruce.
State motto: Nil sine numine (“Nothing without providence” — appropriate, since only Heaven itself could solve our state’s budget).
State fossil: Hunter S. Thompson ... uh, I mean, the stegosaurus.
And then there was the state song. And that’s where I used to be really, really jealous of Kansas.
You see, Kansas has “Home on the Range.” It’s a good song. It’s a simple song. Everyone knows it and everyone can sing it. “The Star-Spangled Banner” should be so accessible.
Colorado, by contrast, had the deathless melody known as “Where the Columbines Grow.” Don’t apologize if you haven’t heard it. Few people have, even within the state. It’s one of those things you learn, recite and then forget. Just listen to that inspiring second verse:
The bison is gone from the upland, the deer from the canyon has fled,
The home of the wolf is deserted, the antelope moans for his dead,
The war whoop re-echoes no longer, the Indian’s only a name,
And the nymphs of the grove in their loneliness rove,
But the columbines bloom just the same.
Hear, hear! Bring on that Rocky Mountain Armageddon!
I always felt there had to be a better choice. After all, a state song should be something that its residents can actually, you know, sing. Or at least recognize in a dark alley.
Thankfully, the Colorado Legislature finally agreed with me. This last spring, they completed a project that has been 10 years in the making and named “Rocky Mountain High” as a second state song.
Now, there may be a few people who question the singability of a John Denver piece by ordinary folks. These people are heretics. As any fan knows, it’s not whether you can hit the notes, it’s whether you can feel the chill:
And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high,
I’ve seen it rainin’ fire in the sky,
Talk to God and listen to the casual reply ...
Sheer magic.
I know, it won’t bring peace on earth or end world hunger. But it does commemorate a man who cared about both, a man who became more identified with Colorado than anyone before or since. Maybe just as importantly, it takes one of the many empty “state symbols” and actually makes it mean something to the average person. That’s a rare event.
So keep enjoying “Home on the Range.” Meanwhile, I’ll smile as I picture Colorado’s fourth-graders singing along to a soft guitar and a clear tenor ... and maybe mixing up a little salt water for afterward.
After all, it takes a little practice to hit a Rocky Mountain High.
Scott Rochat’s e-mail address is rochat@emporiagazette.com.