THE NEWS over the weekend from the celebrity beat was that Paris Hilton had told her lawyers and her family not to try to get her out of jail again. Good for her.
Of course, the last time she was let out of jail, an angry judge settled a turf fight with the Los Angeles sheriff by making an example of Hilton — sending her back to jail for double her original sentence. If the sheriff releases her again without the judge’s blessing, she could — at this rate — be sent back to her cell for three months.
Better for her to serve her 45 days quietly and do nothing to attract the judge’s attention again.
Hilton, by drinking and driving and then violating probation, has become the latest cause in the crusade against what is usually known as “celebrity justice.” The public perception is that celebrities get pretty much a free ride from the courts, especially in California.
What better example of celebrity justice could there be than a caress on the wrist for someone like Hilton? She is a rich young woman who is celebrated for being celebrated, for making bad lifestyle choices and for neglecting to wear underwear in public. She is the kind of person whose mere existence sets the teeth of Middle America on edge.
Of course, it is wrong to say that Hilton has no useful purpose in life. She is, at the moment, the all-American bad example — the vacuous little rich girl people love to disparage. In or out of jail, she is ideal fodder for the 24-hour tabloid news cycle.
But in her current involvement with the law, her celebrity may be working against her. The sheriff said that releasing people in her situation to house arrest is common practice in Los Angeles. If she were Jane Schmoe instead of Paris Hilton, she would be sitting at home by now, wearing an electronic ankle bracelet and no one would have said a word.
The trouble with being a celebrity bad example is that the public must be made to feel that the punishment fits the crime. So Paris Hilton must be seen to be sitting in jail to learn her lesson.
Of course, if she does learn her lesson and come out of jail chastened and determined to devote her life to good works, she will lose her star status on tabloid television, which cares more for bad examples than for stories of redemption. Perhaps Lindsay Lohan will be promoted to team captain of the new Brat Pack and Britney Spears will be brought back up from the minors.
We’ll always have Paris — or someone like her.