Holidays may bring increase in violence
After Christmas, tensions can build
By Bobbi Mlynar
Monday, December 24, 2007
If there is going to be a spike in domestic violence incidents, it is likely to happen soon.
“I actually don’t see much going on until after Christmas,” said Debbie Criswell of SOS. “Usually a couple of days before New Year’s Eve is when things start.”
Criswell, who holds a bachelor’s degree in drug and alcohol abuse and prevention, is Greenwood County Coordinator for SOS and is certified by the Association of Abuse and Prevention Service.
The holidays are a stressful time of year for many, she said. People might feel affected by a variety of issues that take prominence in the holiday season, and financial stresses, particularly for people who hold seasonal jobs, only add to the problems.
Criswell said domestic abuse runs in cycles that its victims learn to recognize and also learn to delay, even if only for a short time.
“Especially during Christmas time, especially mothers, they want to hold everything together until after Christmas Day,” she said. “They’re usually doing everything they can to keep things as calm as they can. …
“The victim is handling it. They’ve been handling it on their own for a long, long time. They know they’ve got to get through Christmas, just get through Christmas.”
After that celebration, the tensions that already were there are more likely to get out of hand. Children are home on Christmas break and, especially if the weather is bad, the family is more likely to be shut up together inside the house.
“Most people that live in domestic violence situations know that it goes in a cycle,” Criswell said. “They’ve made it through the Christmas holiday and tensions were building up during that time … and they know that cycle is going to come around again.”
Victims do the same thing in the summer, for example, to get through a child’s baseball game or a family picnic peacefully --- and knowing all the while that the cycle of violence will return.
When it does, the victims often do not call for help.
Emporia Police Officer David Holmes estimated that only a “moderate to small percentage of incidents get reported. … There’s no way to know the true numbers” of incidents of abuse.
Holmes, along with Officer Jeff Illk, is a trainer for the department’s domestic violence continuing education classes.
One of the first questions officers ask at a domestic call is whether the abuse has happened before.
“There’s a lot of times we hear, ‘Sure, this happens all the time; this has happened before,’” he said. However, looking back at the police call records, “we may or may not see that.”
“Maybe one of the No. 1 reasons is because they’re fearful,” Holmes said. “There tend to be a lot of threats associated with domestic violence. There’s also the threat of losing their economic support, or part of their economic support.
“There’s a fear of breaking up the family. There’s a fear of their social status maybe being tarnished. … (D)omestic violence, it crosses all kinds of boundaries, whether it’s income or race or social status.”
Holmes said that reporting domestic violence also becomes a difficult issue when children are involved.
The youngsters may fear retaliation by one parent against another if they tell what has happened. It also is difficult for prosecutors when those cases go to court.
“You try not to make the child face down their parents in court, also,” Holmes said. “Not only is that a very intimidating thing, it’s also a very hard thing for a child to handle.”
He added that the danger of physical harm rises when the victim leaves.
“That’s why a lot of people are fearful; that’s why a lot of people go back,” he said.
Both Criswell and Holmes emphasized that, while alcohol or drugs often are involved in domestic violence, neither are a root cause.
“So when you’re already depressed and you’ve got stresses on you and you’re consuming alcohol on top of that, it’ll exasperate what’s going on,” Criswell said. “… It does in no way cause the abuse or the power issues. I think it’s just part of the picture.”
Holmes agreed.
“Domestic violence is obviously a power-control issue,” he said.
And calls do come from homes with sober, drug-free people inside. Criswell, however, has observed that most do not.
“I can tell you that I rarely go on a call that doesn’t involve some kind of substance abuse, whether it’s alcohol or drugs,” Crisswell said. “What it does is if you already have those control traits, then the drug will help exasperate that, just in the same way that it makes you ease up on your inhibitions.”
Criswell said considerable resources are available in Emporia to help, whether that means getting away from a situation now or making plans for a move in the future.
Calls can be made anonymously to an SOS emergency phone number that is staffed 24 hours a day all year.
“We can start helping them that way, if they’re not ready to come for face-to-face services,” Criswell said.
Safety plans can be made in advance for victims who are not yet ready to leave, but believe they will be ready to make a move at some point in the future.
For those who choose to leave, shelters are available in Emporia and across the state to help women and children.
“And if the victim is a male, we also have services to help them,” she said.