Alien transients
David Lawrence Jaggard
Saturday, December 8, 2007
DURING THE next few months our city will become the temporary home to two very diverse groups of people. They return here every couple of years, spending most of their time panhandling for donations to their separate lifestyles.
Sometimes they set up small storefronts, hoping to entice dollars away from the local economy. Although these “gangs” are at opposition, the rivalry rarely results in physical conflict. They are protected by various laws, even keeping them exempt from taxation, slander or libel and telephonic harassment charges.
They also adhere to a dress code that promotes “gang colors” of red or blue. When they are in truce mode, they show a combined color scheme, sometimes with white pentagrams. Citizens should be wary of any contracts or services offered; only a small percentage are fulfilled.
Thankfully, their stay always ends at the second Tuesday of November, in our case, under a year. We will have to clean up after them, because they leave paper and cardboard trash all over town. The two groups are known as the Republicans and the Democrats.
David Lawrence Jaggard
Emporia
Wasp (anonymous) says...
Just think what Iowa has to put up with!
December 8, 2007 at 8:07 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
johnsie (anonymous) says...
That has to be one of the best written pieces I've had the pleasure to read in decades. And I'm an active member of one of those gangs! But I do clean up my own mess.
December 9, 2007 at 11:20 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )