Forget the old driver's ed warnings. On Saturday, it was offensive driving that ruled the evening at the Lyon County Fair's annual Demolition Derby.
Slams and collisions that would have drawn a ticket on nearby Sixth Avenue instead won shouts and cheers at the Grandstands. Down on the muddy arena floor, the re-painted autos saw bumpers ripped away, bodies crumpled like paper and engines smoking like a factory -- yet, more often than not, managed to keep going for one more hit.
"It's all about getting the first hit out of the way," said Daren Moore, whose bright green 1967 "suicide Lincoln" seemed almost indestructible in its opening heat, making it into the final round of the night before falling just short of the top five. "Once you get that first hit out of the way, it's nothing but fun from then on."
And it can only add to the fun to bring home a few hundred dollars in prize money -- just enough, perhaps, to get the next car together. First place in the "main event" went to Jay Hamman of Hartford, who won $700. He was followed by Adam Krause of Emporia in second ($350), Seth Schroer of Strong City in third ($250), Dustin Carson of Lebo in fourth ($200) and Daniel Grizzle of Emporia in fifth ($175). Grizzle's red-white-and-blue car, numbered "9/11," also won the crowd's approval for the best painted automobile.
Joyce Carson of Lebo won the women's "Powder Puff" event and $100 with it. Her second-place rival, Keri Jenkins of Osage City, could barely even get her wheels going toward the end but repeatedly refused to quit, revving the engine one more time and inviting one more hit. Jenkins won a trophy but no prize money.
In this modern-day joust, there are a few rules of chivalry. Don't hit the driver's side door if you can help it. Don't hit a competitor that is out of the race, noted by ripping off a thin plywood mast near the windshield. But after that, it's all tactics.
"You have to think about how you make your hits," said Dan Tebbetts of Emporia, who competed in demolition derbies for 10 years before quitting around 1997."You have to learn how to hit a car where it'll disable them and not let them bring the car on back. You have to keep the car cool so it doesn't overheat, that's the biggest factor right there.
"You need to be aggressive ... and you have to take care and make sure no cars team up on you," he added. "It's tough to get away from two cars going at you. But it's fun.It's a good sport."
Tebbetts was part of the team for Emporia driver Larry Lewis whose red-and-white station wagon, "The Meat Wagon," came complete with an ambulance-style flashing light. Lewis might just as well have called his car "Freddy Krueger" -- in the consolation round, it was left for dead several times only to get back in the fight one more time, at one point with a tire knocked parallel to the ground and so much fog rising from the engine that the driver could barely be seen. After the car was finally out of it, Lewis evacuated the Meat Wagon through the rear window.
"It's fun, but I don't know why," Lewis said before the race.
It can be a little unsettling at first. The first time Moore raced in a demolition derby, about six or eight years ago in Melvern, he wound up losing his nerve.
"I made my hit ... got the first-time jitters and drove right out of the arena," he said, smiling.
He's learned better since. And he especially knows how much of it comes down to preparation. A big old boat of a car usually works best, like Moore's '67 Lincoln or the '77 El Dorado that Tebbetts once used. Front-wheel drive can make a big difference, too. And never skimp on the safety preparations -- a driver once nailed Tebbetts on the driver's side door and Tebbetts managed to come away with just a cut from the seat belt.
"You have to take care of all the little stuff," Moore said. "Then it's all luck from there."