The Emporia Gazette

May 27, 2012

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After talking to my support group of moms, I’ve discovered that we all share what could be a fatal flaw — we strive to make everyone happy.

We really don’t want any of our children to be disappointed.

I now understand the line, “This hurts me more than it does you.”

This past weekend, I had to disappoint Alex. He’d been asked to the movies. A group wanted to see the new movie “Disturbia,” a horror flicked aimed at the young teen crowd. It opened Friday and is rated PG-13. Should be perfect for a 14-year-old boy, right?

Wrong.

At least that’s what Movie Mom told me. I discovered Movie Mom a few years ago when surfing for movie information. I’ve been hooked on her ever since. Her reviews are linked to Yahoo movies online or accessed directly at http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/moviemom.

In all honesty, I don’t always care what Movie Mom (known in real life as Nell Minow) really thinks about the movie. Her C grade may rate a B or A in my book. But I appreciate the detailed summary she includes in the beginning of each review. In the summary, she gives an audience age, which often doesn’t match the industry’s rating; rates the use of profanity, amount of nudity or sex, alcohol or drugs and violence or scariness. She also lists any diversity issues.

Over the past year, I’ve gone back and checked her reviews on movies I’ve already seen (and wondered why I ever watched them or allowed the boys to see them). Each time, her synopsis has been right on.

For “Disturbia,” Movie Mom rated the movie for ages 17 and up, definitely higher than a PG-13 would have led me to believe. “Some strong and crude language” in the profanity category usually means there will be words in there I definitely don’t want my children hearing. And although I know Alex can handle references to adultery and kissing, I’d rather he not be exposed to children viewing pornography, another element Movie Mom found in “Disturbia.”

We won’t even mention the violence that I know would be in it.

Now, I can remember being 16 years old and seeing the original “Friday the 13th” in the theaters. I loved it, especially because I was a junior counselor at camp that year. What a roller coaster ride that movie was. But I know it’s graphic violence was tame compared to what shows up on the big screen nowadays.

And I’d rather my boys wait until they’re older to see that.

In the end, I told Alex he couldn’t see “Disturbia.” In fact, I popped up the movie listings for the mall theater, looked up the Movie Mom reviews and found only two I’d let him see. I didn’t like telling him no and I hated disappointing him. To his credit, he didn’t try to argue or bargain and even read the movie review for himself.

We also talked about alternative activities for socializing with his friends. I suggested skating or bowling or even miniature golf when the weather warms up. I hope his group of friends considers new activities.

Of course, there’s a big difference between those activities and seeing movies — they actually have to talk to one another.