WE FINALLY KNOW the truth. Neil Armstrong got it right.
I’ve always kind of wondered. It seemed a little unlikely that somebody would travel nearly 240,000 miles only to screw up their big line. Then again, considering that NASA once crashed a Mars probe because it misplaced a decimal point, anything is possible.
For those who have no idea what I’m taking about (an ever-growing crowd), there’s been a debate for years over just what it was Armstrong said after he landed on the moon. The words that Armstrong practiced were “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” Simple, concise, profound.
But that’s not what the planet heard. Through the fuzz and static, the phrase went into the ears of millions as “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” Losing the “a,” of course, changed the meaning of the sentence — the grammatical equivalent of coming up to a newly discovered alien race and saying “Take me to your leaper.”
Armstrong has claimed for years that he got it right. Now an Australian computer programmer named Peter Shann Ford seems to have proved it. After going over the recording with some very high-tech tools, Ford says he has found the ‘a’ that has been up in the air longer than Armstrong himself.
I know, it’s a small thing. But it makes me feel good for several reasons.
The first is simple justice. After all, there are so many people in history whose words become immortal almost by accident. My personal favorite happens to be a Civil War general, John Sedgwick, whose last words were “Don’t worry, boys, they couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance....” Any time somebody manages to not only come up with a memorable line, but do it on purpose, the least we can do is get it straight.
Then too, there’s always a certain relief when you finally hear something properly. Anybody who has ever listened to oldies rock knows exactly what I’m talking about. Before the age of compact discs, figuring out the lyrics to your favorite pop song sometimes required deductive abilities on the order of Sherlock Holmes. Among the more inspired inventions:
F Many people have claimed to hear Tom Petty sing “I Was Barney Rubble” (“I Was Born a Rebel”) or the Creedence Clearwater Revival hit “There’s a Bathroom on the Right” (“Bad Moon on the Rise”).
F My wife Heather believed for years that the Beatles were singing “I don’t care to matrimony...” instead of “I don’t care too much for money.”
F And of course there was my own childhood mishearing of “Just call me angel of the morning, angel. Just brush my teeth before you leave me.” I don’t know how old I was when I realized the phrase was “touch my cheek.”
Finally, when you come down to it, don’t we have enough misunderstanding in the world already? Solving the words of Neil Armstrong may not be the equivalent of bringing peace to the Middle East, but at least it’s a step in the right direction.
So, congratulations, Neil. Take your bow. At a time when most men might have simply said “Wow,” you remembered your lines and remembered them well.
And that’s A-OK.
Scott Rochat’s e-mail address is rochat@emporiagazette.com.