Beating holiday depression
Bev Cress
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
It’s the hap- happiest time of the year or so the song says.
We all have the perfect picture of the holiday season in our heads. The visions of sugar plums fairly dance around them as we race from work to shopping to wrapping gifts to parties to programs to parades all in the attempt to make the “perfect picture” a reality. It is no wonder that we become overwhelmed!
But the truth of the matter is that for many people the holiday season is a time of stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, financial stress, loneliness, and pressure to spend more than one can afford. The unfortunate result of these holiday stresses can sometimes be “Holiday Depression”.
There are many factors which contribute to increasing your risk of having this seasonal depression. Among them are trying to do too much, having unrealistic expectations for the holiday, being unable to be with loved-ones whether due to death or distance, spending more than one can afford on gifts, and being over-tired.
Symptoms of holiday depression include headaches, excessive drinking, over-eating, and difficulty sleeping. Some people will experience this as a post-holiday let down after the end of the holiday season. This can be caused by the disappointments of the holiday season coupled with the extra stress and fatigue experienced in the preceding weeks.
For those of you who are saying to yourself, “Hey, that’s me” there is hope. By making some fundamental changes in your expectations and by slightly changing your approach, the holiday stresses can be lifted from your shoulders, and you can create a celebration that is healthier for you and for those who you love.
The National Mental Health Association recommends these ideas for helping you to cope with the stress and depression of the holiday season.
• Be realistic in your expectations for the holiday season. By consciously setting goals that are unattainable, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. No one has the “perfect” holiday. There will be things that happen that are less than perfect, but it should not ruin your celebration. Memories sometimes spring from these less-than-perfect incidences! My family still laughs about incidents that, at the time, were not so perfect!
• Set reasonable goals for yourself, prioritize jobs and activities, and remember that it is not just the “day” of the celebration that brings joy, but it is also the days and weeks leading up to and following that bring joy. So, if possible, spread out your celebration activities to embrace the time surrounding the actual holiday.
• Leave the past behind and celebrate now. You change, your family changes, life changes everything. Comparing this year’s celebration to those in the past is a sure way to diminish your joy. Human beings have a funny way of remembering only a small part of what happens — so are you really sure it was so much better then? Or have you just forgotten part of it? Every season is new and wonderful if it is given a chance. Try to implement a new tradition! Break ground and celebrate in a new way.
• Do not expect holidays to extinguish loneliness or sadness. If you are lonely or sad, the holidays will not “fix” this.
• Monitor your alcohol consumption. Alcohol is a depressant. Drinking too much will add to your depression rather than lessen it. At parties, sip on a glass of sparkling water.
• Get enough rest. One sure way to make small problems larger is to be tired when trying to resolve them. Delegating responsibilities to others will allow you carry a lighter load and enjoy the efforts of others.
• Do for others. Perform “Random Acts of Kindness”. The holiday season is a prime opportunity to experience the wonderful feeling of giving of yourself. Volunteer your talents and/or time to a charitable organization. Or better yet, do something nice for someone anonymously for no reason. Let a frazzled shopper with small children cut in line in front of you. You will be amazed what a powerful lift this gives your heart! It will put a smile on your face — I guarantee it!
• Spend money realistically. Over-commercialization and competition create a temptation to use money to compensate. When the bills begin pouring in after the first of the New Year, what seemed like a good idea in December does not seem so appealing. Before shopping for gifts and preparing for the holiday, set a firm budget AND STICK TO IT! Make lists before going shopping and resist the urge to spend impulsively. This is the time of year many, many people get into credit card trouble. Avoid overspending and focus on the feelings rather than the gifts and you will not regret it in January and February.
• Spend time with supportive people. Nothing recharges us better than the companionship of our support system. The holiday season is a prime time to reconnect with friends who have drifted apart from us. Reach out, make new friends and make contact with old ones.
This holiday season can be one that is a joyous celebration and an expression of the warm sentiments you feel. Make it a healthy one for you. Make the celebration that you share one that will leave you happy and fulfilled rather than stressed and depressed.
• This column is provided by the Mental Health Center of East Central Kansas. For more information on column topics or resources, give suggestions for future columns, or to request a speaker for your club or organization, contact Bev Cress, M.S. at (620) 343-2211, ext. 6217.