Raising girls
Don Coldsmith
Monday, December 4, 2006
SOME TIME AGO, I had an exchange of letters with an editor whom I’ve known for years. We’ve never worked together, but in the course of something completely unrelated. He noted that we have something in common in my “bio,” it’s stated that Edna and I have raised five daughters. He, too, he now mentioned, knows of living in a house where the toilet seats are always in the down position. He has only three daughters, but it’s the same drill.
Between the two of us, it’s apparent that, counting wives, we’ve had at least 10 women to cope with, not even counting our mothers.
There are a lot of differences, living in a houseful of women, as compared to houses filled with an assortment of gender. I grew up in a home with two brothers and our Dad, as well as a sister, and a capable non-complaining Mother who filled the job as the wife of my Methodist preacher Dad quite adequately.
Now, I’ve always liked women, though not in the same way as some of our national leaders have. Women, I was taught as a child, are to be respected, protected and in many ways honored. It was easy however, to accept the traditional truism about “a woman’s place is in the home” at that time.
World War II and women in the war effort changed all that, spurred on by the feminist revolution of the 1960s. That all happened pretty fast. Edna and I realized with some surprise a few years ago that both of our mothers had VOTED only once before we were born. “Women’s rights” was a new concept. It was possible for one of our daughters, however to join the United States Marines, in one of the first recruiting drives for women.
But, back to raising girls — girls are different, for which let all men rejoice. However, it eventually dawns on a male in a houseful of women that there are some things he will never understand. Things which make no sense, but are forbidden territory for discussion. In any discussion of the opposite sex, there are hazards — which sex is the “MOST opposite,” for instance. A rational man, who is concerned about which side his bed is bettered on, will avoid such conversations.
A man’s needs in the management of a household are simple and require few necessities. If It’s something that moves and shouldn’t, duct tape will solve the problem. On the other hand, if it should move and doesn’t, WD-40 will fix it. There are a few pretty sharp women who are catching onto this; times are still changing in the aforementioned revolution.
Back to raising girls — we were in the country. Not a bad idea at the time, since transportation was not so easy, tougher to get into trouble. But I think every one of our daughters saw a colt born, a nest of baby chicks hatch under a mama hen’s supervision. Kittens, of course, may show up among barn cats at any time. This was a valuable education for the girls, and I rarely had to fall back on “Better ask your mom about that.”
Some things a man is subjected to in such a situation, however, deal with purely feminine things. A joking remark which might have been funny last week might bring forth an angry retort this week.
In extreme cases, or in the event of an engagement party, baby shower, or many other such feminine events, the only practical thing for a mere male to do is to politely say hello and then head for the brush and tall timber. It’s a good opportunity to go fishing or to go check the fences at the north pasture.
There are some real benefits, though. If their mamas have been treated with respect and admiration, this will usually carry over into the next generation. It will probably take that long for the gender tolerance (or intolerance) of the Feminist Revolution to level off. Both sexes are still in the throes of change, and they’ll take a little time, just as racial and religious tolerance have. But, I hope we’re gaining on it.
Both sexes are partly human, aren’t we?
See you Down the road.
Author and columnist Don Coldsmith lives in Emporia.